Women over 45: Time for a fashion ‘Comeback’

The patina of wisdom
Maturity is a badge of honor to be respected with good taste. There simply comes a time when all the extra bling and fabulousness of fashion, hair, and makeup is best toned down. When you were a younger Alluring, Innovative, or Dramatic woman, those items of “Look at me, I’m au courant” stood for something — status, hipness, a woman in the moment who’s up on the trend — but wisdom carries with it a confidence and sophistication that allows you to do less and achieve more. A maturing face and figure carry a patina of wisdom. They make a statement in and of themselves that doesn’t require bright lips, over-the-top earrings, or a crazy hip belt to bring it forward. Less is simply more as we age.

To accentuate your second act best:

• Avoid drawing attention to your mouth with bright or dark lips.
• Avoid drawing attention to aging eyelids with frosted shadow.
• Avoid drawing attention to aging hands with bright nail polish and/or a multitude of attention-grabbing rings.
• Draw the eye to your face with neckline interest and earrings.
• When in doubt, leave it out.

The importance of being current
In 1986 I stayed with relatives in California whom I had never met before. I distinctly recall the odd feeling of nostalgia walking into that house. It was spotless and meticulously decorated in dark Mediterranean style with green shag carpeting and gold glass pendant lights. I had stepped back in time.

One evening this couple dressed to go out to dinner. I noticed that they both dressed in clothes that were fashionable and attractive — for 1974. He wore a gray polyester leisure suit, and she wore aqua polyester slacks with a floral patterned peach and aqua overblouse. They were in their fifties. It was apparent to me they had stopped paying attention to fashion and decorating around the time their children had left home.

As I approach their age, it reminds me that every generation can easily do the same. You see, when we’re in our early twenties, looking current is easy because we’re just beginning to build our wardrobe and are filling it with what is in style. We are buying trends without really thinking about it. We hit the first wall around thirty. This is when what was hot in college starts to look dated. We have no experience with being outdated because we’ve been current by default. The next hurdle comes in our late thirties and early forties. At this point we can’t easily pull off an extreme trend at budget prices. We’re older, and wearing clothes from Forever 21 just won’t cut it. By the time we hit our fifties, coverage and camouflage become key. It is essential at this point to reassess our look, keep it fresh, and rid ourselves of outdated looks regardless of how nice they once were.

Keeping current is undoubtedly a constant and not inexpensive challenge. With all the technology with which we are bombarded, however, we still have the old standby: the monthly magazine. Magazine subscriptions are one of the most effective ways of getting information you can absorb on your downtime. The whole experience of sitting down with and perusing a magazine that inspires is a ritual that endures. Magazines are the great equalizer. No matter where you live in the country, you have the same access to fashion, fitness, and beauty that the most upscale, in-the-know New York socialite has, because you get your W magazine the same time she does. When O comes out, you’re right there with all of Oprah’s associates on the hottest, latest, and most suitable fashion, food, fun, and inspiration you need that month. You just go to your mailbox, Oprah is waiting for you, and it’s your turn to dream.

What were we thinking?
We’ve all done it. We’ve all looked back at those embarrassing fashion photos and wondered, “What was I thinking?” I look back at my pin-striped jeans, permed hair, and parachute pants and think, “Hmmmm.” The more extreme the trend, the more risk of embarrassment. We can forgive the young, but it’s not so easy to forgive a second-acter in a leather mini.

A woman in her second act need never again wear:

• A micro mini
• Combat boots with formal wear
• White hose
• Frosted eye shadow
• Chunky platforms
• Dark brown lipstick
• Butterfly barrettes
• Extreme low-rise jeans
• Visible underwear
• A spiral perm

What’s age appropriate now?
In the second act it becomes difficult to find the balance between growing older and looking modern. Looking current and youthful should not translate into “mutton dressed as lamb.” I met a woman recently whose long, blond, permed hair was pulled up on one side and suspended with a comb. For height she created gravity-defying bangs with a curling iron and Spritz Forte. She wore a fitted navy knit tank; tight-tapered pale denim jeans; and a crocheted sparkly baby blue shawl tied around her hips. She was forty-eight years old.

I liked her and enjoyed hearing her tales of woe in raising teenagers, but as I listened to her I was continually distracted by her image. It just wasn’t working in her favor. It didn’t work because it was expressing only part of herself. I obviously knew who she had been, but as she talked, the more interesting, experienced, and attractive parts were hidden behind the facade of a fear of aging. Yes, she was attractive and sexy, but she was also a forty-eight-year-old single mother of teenagers who had quite a bit of sun damage, an advancing derriere, tan lines across her back, and thinning hair. The look did not make her appear younger; it simply made her look vulnerable and insecure. Our image must reflect the person we’ve become, not the person we were. That is age-appropriate.

Chapter cues

• We’re drawn to symmetry. Creating symmetry with your hair, clothes, and makeup helps to make you your most attractive.
• Avoid fads; know and wear “your” trends as soon as you see them emerging.
• Update your classics regularly, with trends in color, line, and texture.
• Remember the big five fundamentals: line, proportion, color, texture, and accent.
• A little bling goes a long way. As we age, when it comes to accents, less is more.
• It is easy to become outdated; looking current keeps you alive and “in the game.”
• Age-appropriate is not expressing who we were but declaring whom we’ve become.

Excerpted from “Staging Your Comeback: A Complete Beauty Revival for Women Over 45” by Christopher Hopkins. Copyright (c) 2008. Reprinted with permission from HCI Books.

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