When Father's Day is a double celebration

Health issues and therapy
Zeth’s sudden arrival was just one of many challenges they’ve faced. The twins have an array of issues related to their early childhood, including diagnoses of post traumatic stress disorder and probable attention deficit disorder. One was recently diagnosed with a fetal alcohol condition and they expect the other will be as well.

“We go to therapy a lot,” Devin said.

To the casual observer, the only outward signs of the twins’ special needs are their high energy level and sometimes aggressive behavior. While even that could be seen by some as within the normal range of little boy behavior, they are clearly what used to be called “a handful.”

Devin, whom the boys call “Papa,” and Geoffery, who is “Daddy,” have enjoyed watching their sons’ personalities take shape. “Zach thinks everything through,” said Devin. “Zayn is more the life of the party” and “Zeth is kind of the best of all of us … pretty even-keeled and very loving.”

The dads themselves are a couple of soft-spoken teddy bears — Devin with a neat salt-and-pepper goatee, Geoffery with earrings and trendy glasses — who seem born to parenting. “I’m much more the mama of the family,” Devin said. “I’m the one they run to a lot if they’re scared. … He’s more the daddy … more kind of the disciplinarian.”

In addition to the boys’ special needs and the issues that every growing family faces, from poopy diapers to spilled milk, Devin and Geoffery occasionally face awkward parenting moments that spring from being a gay couple. Earlier this year, one of the twins became fascinated with a pink dress in the preschool’s costume box and decided he wanted to be a princess for Halloween.

The dads know that’s not an unusual idea for a young boy, but “I don’t want to be the gay family with all the kids in pink dresses, even though I’m supposed to be tolerant,” Devin mused. Since Halloween is months away, they put the issue on the back burner, but made it clear to teachers that it is fine with them if their son wants to wear the pink dress at preschool.

Aside from the daily routine of work and preschool, the family spends a lot of time in their large yard, where Geoffery has planted 7,000 flowering bulbs, 60 fruit trees, 400 berry bushes and 100 azaleas and rhododendrons. He has also cultivated a colony of 5,000 mason bees, non-aggressive pollinators prized by horticulturists, from an original group of 20. “They boys actually got to watch some of them hatch,” he said.

Then there is their church, which has been a great source of spiritual support and help with the boys. Devin, a music major who trained in opera, and Geoffery are both members of the choir. While some campaigns against gay rights are church-based, the family has been embraced by their Presbyterian fellowship.

“It’s wonderful,” said Janet, an associate pastor. “We cherish our diversity. Our church is glad to have them in the choir, we’re glad to have their children with us. It makes us better, more of who we are, by having them with us.”

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