Bob Cook

So it seems there are fans of ABC's "Dancing With the Stars" that are livid that the sports celebrities vying for the show’s little disco-ball trophy have an unfair advantage, in that they enter the competition coordinated, dedicated, and familiar to the voting viewing public as something more than a has-been.

Fans are thundering on online forums that former figure skater Kristi Yamaguchi is a ringer, a dancing wizard, a true star who producers favored for her well-developed twinkle toes and her well-trained imperviousness to sequins. If Yamaguchi is announced as the winner during Tuesday’s Season 6 finale, she would become the show’s fourth straight athlete champion. As it stands, "Dancing With the Stars" already is guaranteed to have its fifth straight jock in the top two (the Miami Dolphins’ Jason Taylor is also among the three finalists dancing Monday night).

Those upset fans have a point. Athletes do have unfair advantages, though I’m not sure the producers are conspiratorial about it. ("Gosh darn it, how are we going to stop Steve Guttenberg from winning this?" "I know, let’s cast Yamaguchi!") Athletes are in shape, used to physicality, competitive to a fault, and famous and beloved on at least some level, which is more than anyone could say for Adam Carolla.

However, without the athletes, "Dancing With the Stars" is nothing but a bunch of who’s-thats and I-thought-they-were-deads gallivanting about for the enjoyment of no one but a cable audience, because there is no way the show pulls in big network numbers season after season otherwise.

Quick, who is this week’s third finalist? If you know it is Cristian de la Fuente, can you still figure out what makes him a "star?" (His claim to "fame" is frequent one-off appearances on television shows, which means he should really be on "Dancing With The Guest Stars.")

Unlike "American Idol," whose ratings are faltering like Paula Abdul putting together a compound sentence, viewership for "Dancing With the Stars" is up 2 percent from Season 5. Perhaps some of the ratings can be attributed to audiences studying, just in case they had to make such a decision, whether it would choose the stamp with a young, married-to-Elvis Priscilla Presley, or an older, plastic-surgery-disaster Priscilla Presley. But the real intrigue every season comes from watching an athlete transfer his or her skills to ballroom dancing, and treating it seriously as a competition, instead of as a chance to one last line in the obituary before career oblivion.

What was the real fun of Season 2? Watching ex-San Francisco 49ers wide receiver Jerry Rice transfer his catch-and-run skills into a second-place finish.

Season 3? Ex-Cowboys running back Emmitt Smith showing football masculinity could come with ruffles as he danced to the title.

Season 4? Short-track speed skater Apolo Anton Ohno squeezing intense training for the show into his intense Olympic training schedule as the hunky young man and his stunning partner — his chin landing strip — danced their way into the hearts of America’s teenage girls.

Season 5? The effervescent IndyCar driver Helio Castroneves never, ever, not smiling all the way to the checkered confetti.

The same phenomenon is true on versions of "Dancing With the Stars" in other, Tom Bergeron-free countries. Think of the upcoming Beijing Olympics not as a drama of athletic achievement, but as a preview to who will be dancing in the next season in Estonia.

The United Kingdom, from which "Dancing With the Stars" first came, is as reliant on athletes as any country, a tribute to how no matter how many real celebrity actors or singers a nation might have not enough of them are willing to appear in public doing the paso doble to keep the sports figures out.

"Strictly Come Dancing" — amazing that name didn’t translate to America — has included rugby players, football (as in soccer) players, track athletes, and a guy often referred to as the "Homer Simpson of snooker."

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Cricketers have won two of the five series (what they call "seasons" in Britain), most notably Season 4 winner Darren Gough.

Shades of Bill Parcells being peeved that Taylor is wasting his time pitter-pattering his little feet, Gough honked off England’s cricket powers-that-be by begging out of international competition to spend more time with his family, with them subsequently finding out he had signed up for the show. (Gough was so sorry about what he did, he subsequently showed up for multiple Christmas specials, a sports charity version and a live tour.)

Many athletes have their own selfish reasons for appearing as any ex-"star" hoping a few waltzes leads to a few more decent scripts. Along with Danica Patrick winning and open-wheel racing’s re-unification, Castroneves’ victory on "Dancing With the Stars" was the biggest public-relations lift IndyCar racing had in years. Boxer Floyd Mayweather Jr. made a desultory appearance expressly to promote his next fight. Taylor signed up probably because after a 1-15 season, he wanted a chance at winning a title in something.

But whatever their motivation, the athletes are the ones who make "Dancing With the Stars" fun and interesting by taking it very seriously while bringing a sense of enjoyment and accomplishment. It doesn’t matter how much some fans might resent their presence. Athletes know that everybody hates a dynasty, but everybody wants to watch one.

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