‘Hank Zipzer’ moves on to fifth-grade adventures
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“McKelty? As in McKelty McKelty? Like Nick McKelty?”
“Yeah, he’s my first cousin.”
Oh, no. This couldn’t be true.
It was just my luck.
I finally meet the blue-eyed, hat-wearing, learning-challenged, drum-playing roundhouse kicking girl of my dreams, and can you believe it, she’s a . . . I can barely even say it . . . she’s a McKelty!
Chapter 9
Nine Ways Zoe McKelty is Not Like Her Creepy Cousin Nick
1. She does not have brown cookie crumbs stuffed in between her two front teeth and crusted around the corners of her mouth.
2. She does not call me Zipperbutt, Zipperhead, or Zipper Doofus.
3. She does not go around saying that her father is best friends with everyone from the Queen of England to every guy in the Baseball Hall of Fame, even the dead guys.
4. She does not have a thick neck the size of one of those five-thousand-year-old redwood trees.
5. Her breath does not smell like burning rubber.
6. She does not lie about how she is the best at everything including things she has never even done like pole-vaulting, bungee jumping, and camel racing.
7. When she laughs, she does not sound like a woodpecker with a stomachache.
8. Oh, yeah, and the main way she’s not like Nick McKelty is this: She likes me.
9. There, I said it. She likes me!
Reprinted with permission. All rights reserved.
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