Change always means that something good is around the corner.

Change brings seeds of new beginnings and different ways of living life.

Change brings new people, new opportunities and new perspectives.

Change reminds me that I am not in control of many things that happen and reminds me to let go and surrender a little more to life.

Change helps me strengthen my change muscle — my self-reliance, inner fortitude, and inner faith that I can handle anything.

Change allows me to learn or understand something new.

Change reveals another aspect of my personality.

Change is never a punishment; it is always an opportunity to connect with what’s inside of me.

Change allows me to choose how I want to react to something that has happened — by accepting it or resisting it.

Change helps me find my higher self — the part of myself that is always there, that doesn’t change. Life’s unpredictability becomes infinitely easier when I connect with that part of myself

Change wants me to acknowledge it, understand it, embrace it, and then integrate it into my life and identity

Change is always on my side. It exists to serve me, teach me lessons, and help me embrace life’s mysteries.

The Tribe: The Source of Your Current Beliefs

In a perfect world, our parents would teach us that change is the only guarantee in life and that it is therefore essential to be good at accepting change and moving through it. Wouldn’t it have been great if your mom had asked you each evening, “What changed today, what is new, and what’s good about that?” Acknowledging changes in this way would have helped us develop a view of change that would support us later in life, when we are faced time and time again with new situations and experiences.

Take a moment to think about why you have made the life choices that you have — who to marry, what kind of work to pursue, where to live — and you’ll see that we are often a walking imprint of the beliefs of our family and friends — what I like to call the tribe. Sometimes this loyalty to the tribe is conscious; but most often it is unconscious. This loyalty helps us feel connected to the people in our lives on a deeper level. Your tribe has probably helped you shape the way you live, but it can also take away your ability to see and choose the best way to move through change. Every member of your tribe has his or her own model of the world and is all too eager to share it with you. Going against your tribe can be uncomfortable and threatening. If your family believes deeply in the institution of marriage, it takes courage to tell them that you choose to believe divorce can be a good thing. Or maybe you dream of owning your own business, but your tribe always encouraged you to maintain a steady job. Who is in your tribe? Ask yourself who still has power and influence over your choices and the changes you want to make.

As a friend of mine, Kathy, once told me, “During change I’ve found that a lot of people have a tendency to hold on to other’s people’s patterns. People need to look at themselves and ask, ‘Who am I as an individual?’ not ‘Who am I as the daughter of my mother or father, the wife of my husband, or the mother to my kids?’”

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