A twist of fate

The night of May 29, 2006, Memorial Day, Laura Van Ryn’s mother Susie wrote an anguished entry in her prayer journal.

(From prayer journal)

Susie Van Ryn: Please don't take Laurie from me, Lord. My heart is heavy today. Please don't let it be. My heart cries out in desperation to you. This would be more than I can bear. I know you are not a cruel God -- what purposes would there be? Could my heart deceive me? Could I not know my own daughter? Oh God, help me. You are all I have. Please give me Laurie back.

Matt Lauer: What must that have been like when you started to doubt?

Susie Van Ryn: Agonizing. First of all, you've been on this emotional roller coaster for five weeks. And we still weren't at the end of it. And feeling like we're getting little glimpses of Laura and it's still a long road ahead. And now all of a sudden this thought that this might not be Laura. You can't deal with that at the moment because this -- your daughter, who's laying there, still needs you. And if it's not your daughter then you need her parents. She needs her mom and dad right away.

The Van Ryns had been caring for their critically injured daughter round the clock for five weeks, but now they were asking themselves a terrible question: what if the woman in the bed was not their daughter at all? Susie and Lisa already had strong doubts. Don was still clinging to the belief that the woman in the bed was Laura.

The realization: May 30, 2006

Matt Lauer: You all went to the hospital and your friend from the night before came to visit you.

Don Van Ryn: He and another friend. And they expressed this concern that this young lady might not be Laura. And my immediate reaction was, "Oh, come on, guys. I know my own daughter. It's Laura."

Matt Lauer: Was there any anger on your part when they brought this subject up?

Don Van Ryn: No. It wasn't anger. It was, you know, an uneasy feeling. It was maybe a small bit of fear.

Don realized he had to resolve everyone's doubts, one way or another. As soon as possible, Lisa stayed at the rehab center. Don and Susie went home and made some difficult, searching phone calls.

Matt Lauer: You tried to go back five weeks and find out how the bodies were identified after the accident. Tell me about the calls. What'd you find out?

Don Van Ryn: I think I found out that there was some doubt possibly. That the accident scene was disastrous. You know? Things scattered all over. And, you know, I found out that a visual i.d. was made at the scene.

Matt Lauer: And that made you believe even more that there could be room for doubt?

Don Van Ryn: I believed that, yes. There was a possibility. Sure.

Back at the rehab center, Lisa decided she couldn't wait any longer for the truth.

Matt Lauer: You've seen Whitney’s photograph. You've seen the smile and the teeth and the eyes. And Lisa, you were wheeling her back from a therapy session and you decided this couldn't go any longer without certainty.

Lisa Van Ryn: Well, when we were in that therapy session, she was throwing a ball to me and they kept telling her, "throw it to your sister." And everything in me wanted to say, "it's not my sister." It was like I knew right then as they were saying it that it wasn't right, but didn't want to confuse her. And so I didn't say anything in the session. But when we got out into the hallway, it was a quiet moment just with her on our way back to her room. And I just remember it very clearly. Stopping and sort of kneeling down, kind of coming face-to-face with her. And not offering any information to her. But just saying, "You did awesome today. You're doing really well. I just want to ask you a question. Can I ask you a question?" And she nodded her head. And I said, "Can you tell me your name?" And she said, "Whitney." And I said, "That's so good. You're doing so good." And I asked her her parents' names and she was able to tell me, "Newell and Colleen." And that was the clincher for me. I knew Laura would not know that. And I told Whitney, I said, "You're doing so well. Do you want to go back to your room?" And she just nodded. I said, "Here we go."

Matt Lauer: When I read that, Lisa, it knocked the wind out of me. But you know what else I thought? What a fabulous response you had. What a moment of generosity that was to Whitney. You didn't get up and run screaming down the hall and create more trauma for her.

Lisa Van Ryn: Well, I loved her. We loved her.

Lisa Van Ryn: We—

Don Van Ryn: And still do.

Lisa Van Ryn: Yeah. I mean why would I do that to her? She had become a dear friend and basically a sister.

Susie Van Ryn: She was a sister.

Lisa Van Ryn: Yeah.

But now they all knew in their hearts  that this young woman they'd cared for and loved was not theirs. And that certainty led to another.

Don Van Ryn: Immediate realization that, you know, our daughter had died in the accident. But, it was still almost two separate issues. And we wanted to do--

Lisa Van Ryn: Do the right thing.

Don Van Ryn: -- what was right for Whitney at that point.

Lisa Van Ryn: The best thing for her.

Don Van Ryn: And it was almost like the death of my daughter. I knew it was a reality at that time. But I would -- I would deal with that a little bit later. That sounds odd, doesn't it?

Matt Lauer: It sounds hard.

Don Van Ryn: Yeah.

Susie Van Ryn: Well, it was hard. But Matt, we knew where our daughter was. And we knew that Newell and Colleen needed to know where their daughter was.

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