Let ’er rip: Blogging the Oscars

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Movie video

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Slideshow

December movies
James Cameron’s spectacle “Avatar” hits theaters, along with George Clooney, who is “Up in the Air,” and Robert Downey Jr. as “Sherlock Holmes.”

more photos

5:58 p.m. PST
I find the cylindrical giant Oscar in the middle sort of... I don’t know... like... genital.

OK, here’s Steve Carrell and Anne Hathaway to present for best animated feature

“Surf’s Up” — next to “Norbit,” the least-deserving film to be nominated for anything. Seriously, it was like eating a turd. On a paper plate. Not even a sturdy Chinet plate.

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“Persepolis” is amazing. It’s not going to win.

“Ratatouille” wins. Of course. I mean, sure, it’s great. It deserves it. I just want people to see “Persepolis.”

And I’m also mad that “Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film For Theaters” wasn’t nominated.

5:53 p.m. PST
Even the announcer can’t say George Clooney’s name without sounding like she’s having an orgasm.

There’s a montage of people clapping over the years. Lots of clapping.

Then people clap for the clapping montage.

5:46 p.m. PST
First award: Best costume

Jennifer Garner looks great. It goes to Alexandra Byrne for “Elizabeth: The Golden Age.”

The winner’s dress is weird. The room is divided. And by divided I mean everyone but me hates it.

But I’m right. I’m always right about the clothes.

5:42 p.m. PST
The best thing about Stewart’s monologue is that Marion Cotillard understands none of it.

Also, Calista Flockhart’s thinks it’s delightful! Oh, wait, that’s where her eyebrows always are...

5:36 p.m. PST
OK, false alarm before. NOW the show is starting...

There’s an animated collage of classic and not-exactly-classic movies all mashed-up together here. It’s the no-writers intro that they decided to use anyway

Jon Stewart walks out and says a bunch of funny stuff. If you’re not watching the show and just reading some nobody live-blogger then I don’t think you deserve to hear his funny stuff. I’m here to see MORE GARY BUSEY.

5:26 p.m. PST
Regis backstage with 137 dancers for the “Enchanted” number:

“I’M OLDER THAN ALL OF THESE PEOPLE COMBINED!”

“LOOK AT THESE WOMEN IN WEDDING GOWNS! THEY’RE NOT REALLY GETTING MARRIED! THEY’RE DANCERS!

AND THESE MEN! NOT THEIR FIANCES! THEY’RE CHORUS BOYS! HOMOSEXUAL!”

5:22 p.m. PST
Regis is pulling people out of the stands to talk about how much they love the Oscars.

Because someone at ABC just watched “TRL” for the first time and thought it would be a good way to pull in “the kids.” The scroll at the bottom of the screen just read:

“TildaFan08: OMG i wanna give a shoutout to my boy Julian Schnabel! WHOOOOOOO!”

CONTINUED : Pre-show silliness with Ryan Seacrest

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