Clinton learns from public pain, private crisis

On Inauguration Day in 1993, Hillary Rodham Clinton’s long ago vision at long last becomes reality.

The new first couple is jubilant, but wary of the road ahead. When asked the first thing they'll do in the white house?

Sen. Hillary Clinton (D-N.Y.): Pull the covers over our heads.

David Maraniss, Author, 'First In His Class': What was going through Hillary's mind when they reached the White House was what I can do in the White House to create an Eleanor Roosevelt legacy. I don't think it was anything other than that.

Sen. Clinton: I think every woman who's been in this position has refined it to fit her. And I have been so impressed by what I’ve learned about the women who have been here before and what they've done and the contributions they've made.

Clearly, her first concern is Chelsea.

Sen. Clinton: I want her to have as normal a life as she can, to be the person God meant her to be. And I think the only way that I can do that is to give her a chance to grow up as nearly as possible if her father were not president. 

Sen. Clinton: I had a wonderful couple of lunches with Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis. She talked about how important to give your children responsibility, giving them as normal a life as you can despite everything that's going on around them. They deserve a chance to grow up to be who they're going to be.

But motherhood aside, Hillary Clinton is not Jackie Kennedy to the public. As the first "baby boomer first lady," she is inaugurating a new era for political wives. The price tag is familiar:

Doris Kearns Goodwin, Presidential Historian: To the extent that Hillary is a symbol of working women, the people who are working love her. To the extent that she threatens the fact that maybe women's roles are changing too much they hate her. So she's always going to be a divisive force.

Betsy Wright: She's without precedent and without a role model in terms of she's crossed a generational line for a lot of professional women here. They're going to fall in love with her in this country.

But nationally, as in Arkansas, not everyone feels that way.

When Bill appoints her to chair his healthcare reform commission, the highest policy position ever held by a first lady, the stakes are high.

Sen. Clinton: Is it a risk? Sure it's a risk. Am I conscious that I could get blamed or be criticized? Of course, but I think it's a risk that my husband believes is worth taking and I agree with him.

Sen. Jay Rockefeller, D-W.V.: I've never seen any person, male or female, take 50 Senators and speak to them so openly, so directly, so calmingly, so reassuringly, and of course, so knowledgeably.

But whether in substance, or in strategy, they're no match for the well heeled medical health insurance community.

A paid advertising blitz helps sink Clinton healthcare reform.

Maraniss: I think that might have been one of the most depressing moments in her life. In some ways she was responsible for health care going down. And other ways it was the huge force of insurance companies and other interests against her.

The failure delights her critics.

Rush Limbaugh: Power without accountability.

She made a lot of mistakes and it was something she wasn't accustomed to doing.  She was accustomed to prevailing and coming through for her husband.

It turns out there is no end to controversy:  Whitewater, Travelgate, a quick killing in commodities trading, and once again, allegations about her husband's infidelity.

Through it all, Hillary maintains a balance and stoicism that some says she learned from her mother:

Gail Sheehy: It was so important for Mrs. Rodham to teach her children how to maintain equilibrium. You're never supposed to express too much emotion. So she would use a carpenter's level to demonstrate how you had to keep the bubble in the middle. If it tilted a little bit this way, you had to bring it right back to the center; always had to keep an equilibrium. 

Dealing with very personal losses is part of Hillary’s first year in the White House. First, her father Hugh Rodham dies of a stroke at age 82.

Then the suicide of Vince Foster, her confidant and Deputy White House Counsel, who had been handling whitewater. In 1996 she looked back at that time.

Sen. Clinton: My father dies, my friend Vince Foster killed himself, my mother in law's health deteriorated and she died.  If I had been back in Arkansas that would have been an extraordinarily stressful year. I am sure I could have been quicker to learn. I could have avoided some mistakes but I think it's natural that you have to make your own mistakes, learn from them and go on."

After two years in the White House, Bill Clinton looks like a one-term president. His poll numbers are sinking. Newt Gingrich has engineered the GOP takeover of the house. Hillary gets plenty of blame.

Maranis: And all of a sudden people are saying you have to be more traditional. You have to back away from these issues that you care about. Go for little nickel and dime things, she hated that. She wanted a systemic change. People around her in that period in early 1995 said that was one of the most depressed periods of her life.

Sara Ehrman: I bet she did a lot on the treadmill, a lot of exercise, a lot of talking to herself, and a lot of determination that this was not going to get her down. 

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