When $5 million buys you worst-in-show

Even the guy who wrote the scripts admits these ads are bad. Britney bad. Miami Dolphins bad — roundly booed by viewers and gleefully bashed by critics as “cheesy” and “low-rent.”

Actually, upon further review, that’s too kind. Debuting on America’s ultimate Game Day, competing against a blitz of the catchiest, campiest, coolest TV spots you’ll see this year, these ads aren’t just bad, they’re Super Bad.

But that’s just how Vin Gupta drew them up in his marketing play book. Because if there’s one thing the chairman of Salesgenie.com has learned about Super Bowl Sunday: Clever may get laughs, but boring sells.

“When everybody else is fancy, we are just plain vanilla,” Gupta said with a grin.

“It’s like an old joke about Mahatma Gandhi. He always wore homemade clothes. That’s what got him the attention,” Gupta said. “One day he went to see the viceroy and the press asked him, “That’s all you’re wearing?” And Gandhi said, ‘The viceroy is wearing enough clothes for all of us.’ ”

So as Budweiser and Pepsi again trot out their Super Sunday best with fresh commercials designed to induce giggles or goose bumps, Salesgenie slaps on its everyday duds and offers a modest message to frontline business folks — try our service and boost your sales. No punch line. No thrills. Up against Madison Avenue’s finest, Salesgenie’s spots have been critiqued as 30-seconds of pure snooze time.

But here’s the trick: Gupta has created a PR campaign to celebrate the fact that he penned and produced “the worst” Super Bowl ad in 2007. He isn’t just clutching the trophy. He’s flashing it around like a spot light on a used car lot.

One year ago, Gupta’s self-scripted commercial about a fast-track salesman earned national dishonors from several media outlets (including USA Today) as the lamest ad of the day. “A total fish out of water,” wrote one blogger. “Monumentally brainless,” wrote another. For Super Bowl XLII, Salesgenie is back with three more spots, all animated, all written by Gupta, all bathed in blandness. One features a flustered salesman named Ramesh. Another is about Panda whose furniture store is teetering out of business. Salesgenie.com saves them both.

In a news release, Salesgenie said it will unveil the spots this Sunday “in the hopes of capturing America’s collective ‘thumbs-down crown’ for the second consecutive year.”

“Wow, I’ve never met a client who wants to be the worst,” said Jerry Della Femina, a well-known advertising executive (Isuzu, Meow Mix) not affiliated with Salesgenie. “If they can get the newpapers to do worst-ad stories and they constantly win that title, they’ll have something going for them. It’s a way to get noticed. The very fact that we’re talking about it shows it has worked.”

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