Couples that work together, stay together?

Bill and Karin Kilburg have worked together in some capacity since 1991. Today, they sit at the helm of the Hospitality Performance Network, a Scottsdale, Ariz.-based business meeting site selection firm that Bill Kilburg cofounded in 2002. Bill serves as the company's chairman and chief executive, directing the company's strategic growth planning, while Karin holds the title of executive vice president for operations — an arrangement that has given them work/life flexibility, but one that can also produce some tensions.

"Sometimes that sets up what I call spirited discussions, about certain items," Bill Kilburg says. "And it's hard not to let them bleed over into the family life."

"It's always a challenge," Karin Kilburg agrees. "Sometimes, I'll get a question at home and I don't want to talk about it. Because a really quick question turns into a 20-minute discussion. Sometimes you have to, though. But the attempt is to not allow that to happen."

That's an ambitious goal, according to Marshack. In fact, it's nearly impossible for couples to completely separate their work and personal lives, she says. Instead, she encourages husband-wife entrepreneurial teams to construct artificial systems to give themselves a break from their cohabitated business life. Her suggestions range from daily routines — going to the gym at the end of the day to unwind before heading home — to weekend or longer getaways, which she recommends once a quarter.

In the summers, the Kilburg family, which includes five children (two from Bill's previous marriage), relocates from Scottsdale for six weeks to a rented home in the South Mission Beach section of San Diego.

"It's one of the benefits of both working together and being entrepreneurs," Karin Kilburg says. "By 2 p.m., I'm usually boogie-boarding."

Other couples say that a key to maintaining both a strong business partnership and healthy marriage is to establish distinct responsibilities that do not overlap.

"I firmly believe that the key to working together as a married couple is to stay out of each other's area of responsibility," says Jennifer Davidson, who, along with her husband Patrick, founded PJ Madison's, an organic gelato-style ice cream company whose products can be found in natural and specialty grocers such as Whole Foods. "I have a tremendous amount of respect for my husband and I've never tried to mess with his arena, and he completely stays out of mine."

Separate responsibilities
Both the Kilburgs and Wrights echo that opinion. But, for Max and Sharon Beckwith, founders of The Little Author, a Sun Valley, Idaho-based company that scans and digitally reproduces a child's artwork to make professional-quality books, overlapping duties make more sense. At the core, Max is the "idea guy" and Sharon has the "practical side," but the pair have also made a point of learning about all facets of the business.

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"Sharon does a lot of computer work, and I do a lot of production work, but basically we have both done everything," Max Beckwith says. "We both know every aspect of shipping, receiving, customer service, and production so as we hire coworkers, it's going to be easier to know where there are inefficiencies in the business."

The Beckwiths say they have found launching and heading a business together to be a challenging but rewarding experience that has only strengthened their marriage. Still, they say it's not for every couple.

"Something about it is a gut feel," Sharon Beckwith says. "Some of my friends say, 'I don't know how you can work with your husband,' and I think you just know in your gut whether or not you can do it. It doesn't mean you're not compatible for marriage. But business is different."

Yet, when personalities and business acumen mesh in a couple's professional life, these married entrepreneurial teams say the personal relationship often follows suit.

"If you can open a business together," Ken Wright says, "marriage is not that tough."

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