‘Idol’ auditioners get wacky in Dallas

Wake me when it’s over
Dallas had its share of poor performances as well, as could be expected from a city where someone was so desperate that she went into labor while waiting to audition. The problem was that for the most part, the bad singers were also really boring.

Bruce Dickson was the strangest story. The 19-year-old said he’d never kissed a girl and didn’t plan to until marriage. He wears a key around his neck that represents the path to his future wife’s heart. Of course, he hasn’t met her yet. There’s also a heart necklace that will go to his bride when the time comes, but right now his dad wears it.

That father-son dynamic was a little close to the line between sweet and creepy, and his singing was close enough to the line that all three judges considered moving him onward. But in the end, all voted no, and when Dickson asked for advice, Randy suggested, “Kiss some girls.”

Newlywed Angela Reilly told the judges that her husband, a model, helped her pick out her audition songs. They couldn’t resist bringing the guy in to cheer her on, but there wasn’t much to cheer about. She got to sing two songs and was mediocre both times. 

Park attendant Paul Stafford, 25, slogged his way through his audition looking very hopeful, then saw the judges’ expressions. His face immediately drooped. But at least the judges’ laughter seemed gentle and not mocking, so he looked at the bright side of things.  “Simon didn’t come down on me like I thought he would, which is always good,” Stafford said.

Another ‘Beautiful Disaster’
Singing waitress Beth Maddocks had no luck singing Clarkson’s “Beautiful Disaster.” Kyle Reinneck had less luck singing Clarkson’s “Never Again.” This proves that, generally speaking, singing any of the former Idol’s songs is a recipe for failure.

Gregory and Mia Tobias sang a brutal opera duet that could well be the worst of its kind in the history of television.

But the most memorable performance of the night came from Renaldo Lopez, a 44-year-old from Reno. Anyone older than 28 at the time of the audition is ineligible to win, so whenever someone above that gets to sing before the judges, it’s a safe bet that it’s because of the humor factor, particularly if the song of choice is an original composition.

Lopez added to that by coming out in white hat with wings on the side and the name “Simon” taped to the front, as well as a silver cape. His song, called “We Are Brothers Forever,” was predictably mediocre, but the bit ended with Randy, Paula and Ryan on the audition stage singing and dancing along.

Even at its worst, “Idol” somehow finds a way of bringing everyone together.

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