Stories of your adoption experiences

I am the single adoptive mom of a beautiful 14 month old Guatemalan baby girl. Abigail was born in Guatemala on November 8, 2006. I brought her home to the US on August 14, 2007, when she was 9 months old. I am unable to bear children and prayed long and hard before I began the adoption process. I researched many agencies and countries. One of the things that drew me to Guatemala was the fact that the children come home at a young age and most were kept in foster homes while in Guatemala. I am a Special Education teacher by trade, so I know the importance of stimulation and love and care for the very young. My daughter was in a very loving foster home. When I brought her home, she was developementally and physically on track for her age. She is continues to hit all of her developmental milestones at the appropriate time. I do feel that there is need for reform in the process of adoption in Guatemala. However, it has been my experience that most of the agencies that work with the adoptions in Guatemala are very ethical. The birth mother must sign off on the adoption 4 times. I feel that this ensures that she knows and understands what she is doing for her child. They now require 2 DNA tests to be done- one at the begining of the adoption process and one at the end. This is to ensure that the baby does indeed belong to the mother who is presenting the child for adoption and also to ensure that the baby was not switched during the process. My daughter came home just prior to the implemenation of the second DNA test. However, I fully understand the need for this second DNA test, to ensure that babies are not switched during the process. My agency also allowed me to visit my baby during the adoption process. I know that the baby that I brought home was the baby that I had met early in the process. I was and am grateful for the opportunity to spend a week with her when she was 2 months old. It breaks my heart to think of what may happen to the orphaned children of Guatemala should the adoptions be suspended. During the process, I came to know and love the country of Guatemala. It is not just the place where I got my baby from. It is my daughter's homeland and I now have a passion for the people of Guatemala and desire to help them. I plan to go back on Mission Trips in the future. I also want to take my daughter back one day. Abigail is truly the light of my life. I never knew what love was until I met her. I can not imagine my life without her. I would go through all of the headaches and paperwork of the adoption again in a heart beat just to be her Mother! I want to see the doors continue to be open for the adoptions with Guatemala. I will fight for it and for other children just like Abigail, who deserve a chance a bright future. --Karen Durrett, Wilson, NC (submitted on Jan. 15, 2008)

I adopted my son, Connor, from Guatemala. He came home just over a year old. I have no doibt in my mind that this adoption was legitimate and ethical, as I trust my agency completely, that they had reputable, reliable attorneys and staff in Guatemala and here in the U.S. that would not pursue the adoption of a child that was not willingly relinguished. The reality of Guatemala adoptions is that there have been, and likely still are, unethical processing of adoptions of children whose birth mothers are coerced into making a plan to release their child for adoption. Connor's birth mother is at the very core of this adoption, she embodies (as many birth mothers do) love at its purest, for a mother to love her child so incredibly much to give him the best possible chance that she could not provide for him in a country where poverty is all too common and they can barely afford to feed themselves, let alone care for a child on what little income they can manage to bring in. Understand that some mothers have no other choice but to make this very difficult decision. Connor was very blessed to also have a wonderful foster family for the first year of his life, wherein they prayed blessings over him and loving him like their own. Nothing can take the place of his foster family giving him a solid, secure start. --Anonymous , MI (submitted on Jan. 15, 2008)

We brought our daughter home from Guatemala in early 2006. She is the light of our lives and we are so thankful for her life. She is a true joy and we're blessed to be given the opportunity to be her parents. We are in the process of bringing home a baby boy from Guatemala and pray that he will be home very soon. --Anonymous , Rockwall, TX (submitted on Jan. 15, 2008)

We have a 3 1/2 year old boy and a 15 month old girl from Guatemala. We were fortunate to have connected with an ethical and reliable agency who works only with the best, most respected attorneys in Guatemala. Many other adoptive and birth families have not been as lucky, and have been exploited by the "professionals" in whom they put their trust. The system has been in dire need of reform, and we are hoping the new law will truly create reform, while allowing adoption to remain a choice for the women of Guatemala. We will continue to support the impoverished indigenous people in Guatemala as a way to give back to our children's beautiful birthcountry. --Anonymous , Philadelphia, PA (submitted on Jan. 15, 2008)

Jesse was adopted in January 2007 at 8 1/2 months. Our experience with this whole adoption process was pretty good as a whole. The biggest frustration throughout the entire proces is the emotional aspect of wanting your child home with you now!!! We are so happy we chose to adopt from Guatemala. --Rachael Katof, Plainview, NY (submitted on Jan. 15, 2008)

We adopted a baby boy from Guatemala in 2007. He came home at age 10 months as happy and healthy as can be. He is the light of our lives. We tried for years (since 2003) to adopt a child first from Russia then from Ukraine, but we were not successful. We were so disheartened by the complexities of the adoption process and the seemingly endless obstacles and delays in eastern europe. We wanted to give a home to a child in need and couldn't understand why the process was so difficult. After deciding to adopt from Guatemala, we found our son Gabriel and we were able to bring him home in less than one year. We know he was meant for us and we were meant for him. What a wonderful way to start our lives together! --Anonymous (submitted on Jan. 15, 2008)

My husband and I were facing what we perceived to be insurmountable fertility issues. My husband is a quadriplegic and I have been diagnosed with PCOS (polycycstic ovarian syndrome). We thought we could either spend our limited funds on painful (mentally and physically) fertility treatments with no guarentee of children at the end, or we could be adoptive parents. We chose to adopt. We went to an information meeting at our local library with A Helping Hand, a christian adoption agency that facilitates international adoption from China and Guatemala. We originally chose to adopt from China and waited for two years before China officially rejected our application because of my husband's disability. Apparently, they didn't feel that our household was appropriate because they believe that people with physical disabilities should not be parents. So, with all that time and money lost, our agency asked us if we would be willing to consider adopting from Guatemala instead. In fact, the day we heard about our final rejection from China, our agency had just received the file and picture of a baby boy who was 4 days old and available for referal. We, of course, saw his picture and immediately fell in love with him. A short nine months later, I was in Guatemala with a friend picking him up from our attorney's office and bringing him home. He has been the best thing that has ever happened to both me and my husband, and now, a year later, I can't imagine or even remember what life was like before he came! We had the typical problems with the Guatelaman system, like PGN rejecting our paperwork with no explanation, but we got through the process relatively quickly compared with the poor people still trying to get their children home. I know that there have been unethical adoptions from Guatemala, and I have been reading about the corrupt agencies and facilitators. All I know is that our son's birthmother signed documents four different times giving up her parental rights and actually had her picture taken with him (as per PGN requirements) at a DNA test. On her application with our attorney, she said she already had a son and could not take care of another child since she was living with friends and had no job. I think that shows just how much she loved her son and wanted him to have a good life rather than how she was coerced into giving up her baby. We choose to put our trust in our agency and our government that our own adoption followed the proper guidelines and ethical practices. I can only speak from my own experience. We love our son with all our hearts and when the time is right we plan on being completely open with him about his adoption and sharing all the information we have about his birth mother. We think that focusing on love, both from us and his birth mother, is the most important fact of his adoption story. Love doesn't make a sensational new story, but it certainly makes for a great life. --Anonymous , Lexington, KY (submitted on Jan. 15, 2008)

We did adopt a child from Guatemala, a beautiful baby boy named Aiden; not to become heroes, rescuers, or Good Samaritans, but simply to become parents. Paul and I married May 17, 2003, and wanted to add to our family from the beginning. Paul brought three children into our marriage, and we were excited at the thought of having more. After three years of trying, we were still without that much wanted baby. In November of 2006, we finally asked ourselves "is it more important to have a baby (biologically), or is it more important to add to our family?" We knew right away that our ultimate goal was to enlarge our family, so we began praying that God would lead us down the path that He wanted us to go. We met with a local adoption agency in December, 2006, and after our first meeting we decided to adopt and knew immediately we had made the right decision. On December 11, 2006, we submitted our application to the agency to adopt a baby boy from Guatemala. The next four months were filled with paperwork, complete physicals for everyone in the household, extensive background checks, trainings, employer statements, income verification, home inspections, references, and name affidavits, just to name a few. Not by any stretch of the imagination things parents in America have to do when they want to have a baby by birth. On March 19, 2007, we submitted our completed dossier to our agency. We were officially waiting for a referral! On April 11, 2007, we got "the call". A baby boy had been born March 26, 2007. His name was Raul, and he appeared healthy. Would we like to look over the paperwork and pictures and call them back tomorrow to let them know whether or not we would accept his referral? In our minds, this was already our son. We happily accepted, and prepared ourselves for months of waiting. During the next 8 months, we waited impatiently as the U.S. and Guatemala scrutinized our documents and approved each necessary step along the way. During those months of waiting we relied on monthly pictures and medical updates to see our son and know what was going on with him physically. How we longed to hold him, smell him, and kiss him. We did manage a visit trip on Labor Day weekend, where we spent 4 wonderful days with Aiden. We were in love, and prayed the rest of the process would go smoothly and we wouldn't be denied the opportunity to raise this precious boy. On December 9, 2007, Raul Antonio Montgomery was placed in our arms forever. We brought him home December 13, 2007, and our lives will never be the same. He is happy, giggly, and brings much joy into our home. My husband is happy to be a 4th-time parent, saying there is no difference in the feelings he has for his biological children and his adopted child. I am ecstatic to be a first-time parent. We will never forget the pain and frustration of the past year, waiting for our son. It was not a "give money and get a baby" process. It was not easy. However, it was highly worth the wait. --Brenda Montgomery, Owensboro, KY (submitted on Jan. 15, 2008)

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