Stories of your adoption experiences

We fell in love with our son just before Christmas in 2005 when we saw his picture on the internet and he was portrayed as needing a family. We began the process immediately, and he joined us 10 months later in the US. He is a blessing to our entire family. I am sad about everything said or uncovered in the world of Guatemalan adoptions since he has been home, and all I can do at this point is raise my son so that he is proud to be both Guatemalan and American. I'm afraid the negativity surrounding adoptions from his country will make that difficult, but it will not be impossible. My only hope for my child now is that in both the US and Guatemala, people will accept his adoption and realize that he is a real child in need of support from his 2 countries. --Anonymous , Riverside, CA (submitted on Jan. 15, 2008)

"Blessed are the flexible for they will not be broken" This is one of my favorite quotes. As an adoptive parent of a son from Guatemala, we learned that flexibility is not an option, it is a necessity. In February of 2004, we decided that adoption was the best choice to build our family. After years of travelling the expensive, and sometimes dangerous, infertility route we chose to adopt. Please note the I use the word "chose" when referring as adoption being an option, and it is not something that "happens to those who cannot bear biological children." The views of some who do not understand adoption can be those of pity, and sorrow. It is sorrow that we feel for those who do not understand it. The adoption of our son was the most amazing experience of our lives. We chose to adopt from Guatemala for 2 reasons, one being the process was not as long as other countries (including the US where you can wait years) and we liked the way Guatemalan adoptions were run. Yes, we liked that. Our son was placed with a loving and caring foster mother, who for 6 months showed him love, kindness and compassion. When out son was placed in our arms in 2005, it felt as if this was meant to be our entire lives. Our son is now a happy and active 3 year old. We could not imagine our lives without him. We chose Guatemala because of many of the ways the process was run. Guatemala is the ONLY country that requires a DNA test to prove that the mother is truly the woman relinquishing her child. In Guatemala the birth mother has to meet 4 times before she can fully relinquish her child. This gave us security in knowing that our child was legally placed with our family by a willing birth mother wanting nothing but the best for her child. There were many opportunities for her to change her mind and rightfully so. Instead, she made a plan for which I am forever grateful. Yes, there is corruption in adoption, but this is not the majority, but the minority. It seems as if Guatemala is now being targeted, however I believe that if each country is placed under a microscope the way Guatemala has been, we would find many leaks in the systems. As long as there is any kind of money involved in adoption processes, there allows room for corruption. However: in light of recent events with Guatemala, I am saddened at the possibility of the country closing. What will happen to the children, is the best interest of the children. It does not appear that way. Now, with the media focusing on the few that may ruin it for all I am saddened. Will people look at my son and wonder if I stole him? Will people ask him? What will he think when he is old enough to understand. These are things we are prepared to deal with, but one thing is for sure. He is our son, we love him, and nothing anyone says or does will ever change that. He is the sunshine in our lives. We are forever grateful for the option to adopt our child from Guatemala. --Anonymous , Lititz, PA (submitted on Jan. 15, 2008)

We adopted our beautiful daughter in 2005. We were blessed to have the chance for Shannon to foster our daughter in Antigua Guatemala until our process was complete. While living in Guatemala we became very close friends with other adoptive and fostering families. We meet with these families regularly, just this weekend in fact. We are hoping to adopt from Guatemala in the future. --Shannon Pawson, Rockford, MI (submitted on Jan. 15, 2008)

Olivia was born in Mixco, Guatemala in 2005. She has been happily home since July of 2006. Olivia's story is just that; her story. I don't feel it's my place to share all of her personal details about her adoption. She will share those one day when, and if, she cares to. I can, however, share my side. My story begins in October of 2003. Adoption called to me one night while I was watching TV. Mindless TV. I was, and still am, single. I always knew I wanted a family. I always knew I wanted to be a mother. Watching the TV wasn't going to fulfill that dream. I got up, walked to the computer, and typed adoption. I was overwhelmed with all of the hits I received. I spent many months researching, finding an agency, and continuously providing proof that I was suitable to be a fit parent. Honestly, every prospective parent should have to go through the rigerous background checks, child abuse clearance, and financial scrutiny that all adoptive parents must endure. I did all of those things happily because I knew it meant I would be one step closer to my child. I first recieved Olivia's photo when she was two months old. My heart melted! Her deep brown eyes were so inquisitive. She looked so friendly and happy. It was obvious she was well taken care of. There was no ounce of doubt that we were meant to be together. It took nine months from the moment I saw her picture to the moment she was in my arms. Our journey home was fairly smooth considering we entered the PGN courts right as they began to bottleneck with continuous kickouts and reviews. Olivia's case had one kickout that, thankfully to an experienced lawyer, was easily remedied. Olivia's foster family was loving and they treated her as if she were their own flesh and blood. It was more than heartbreaking to watch them weep the day she and I were brought together forever. Just like people, all adoptions are different. I know that there have been many accusations made about "baby selling" in Guatemala. I cannot speak on any of those alleged cases. What I can say is this; if you ever question the love, dedication, and trust that goes into each and every Guatemalan adoption (or any adoption for that matter) sit in the lobby of a hotel in Guatemala city when a family is introduced to their child for the first time. To witness would be just short of a miracle. My heart breaks for families who now have to fight so hard to bring their babies home. No one should ever have to experience the agony of being seperated from their child. I am proud to say that I am an adoptive parent. To me, there is no greater honor that could be bestowed upon a person. There was a saying that I read many years ago that has always spoken to me; You do not choose to adopt; adoption chooses you. --Carolyn Peppler, FL (submitted on Jan. 15, 2008)

I am not an accomplished writer, just a regular person. And this is my story. My husband and I brought our beautiful son home from Guatemala in December of 2006. He is our only child as of now. Before we were married in 2004 we discussed adoption. It was very important to the both of us. At that time we didn't know where or how we would adopt, but we knew we would. Adoption was a first choice for us. After being married about 6 months we started gathering information to help us choose what country would best suit our family. After watching a video of Guatemalan children we knew that this was where our son was. We started the process and learned all that we could about Guatemala and the countries customs. We felt that it was very important that our child be proud of his heritage. After visitng the country and the baby we were hooked. In our hearts we were forever entwined with this beautiful country and her people. A few months into our process our son had heart problems. The agency we used rushed him to the hospital and informed us of the complication. We were given the choice to abandon this child but how could we? He was already our son. Our agency tried very hard to get our son home so that his heart surgery could be performed in the States, but to no avail. He ended up having the surgery in Guatemala which the agency paid for. When we brought him home, it was quite an adjustment becoming first-time parents. We have enjoyed this last year with him tremendously. Since we could not give him a biological sibling, we are trying to do the next best thing by adopting another boy from Guatemala so he can have a cultural sibling. We started the process in July 2007 and are still in the beginning stages. We are terrified that we may never bring this precious child home that we visited in December. This child is as firmly in our hearts as our firstborn was when we first met him. I am proud to be a mama to a Guatemalan blessing and I look forward to having 2 sons from one of the most beautiful places on earth. --Christina Rouse, Sacramento, CA (submitted on Jan. 15, 2008)

Our family is a bit different. My husband and I have 6 biological children ranging in ages 21 years of age to 4. We have added two precious boys from Guatemala to our family in less than two years and thank God for each of them as well as having the ability to have them as our sons. I have been involved with Guatemalan adoptions for over two years. We adopted our first son from Guatemala last year, he's been home for a year. He arrived weighing only 17 lbs at 17 months, not walking, not talking requiring surgery for an undecended testicle and hormone therapy. He's been treated by a neurologist an endocrinologist and a urologist. He's now a very happy healthy 2 1/2 year old boy. I was able to speak with his birthmother about 6 months after adopting him. She is 25 years old has no other children and is trying desperately to become literate. She worked as a housekeeper in a farm in Esquintal Guatemala became pregnant and was fired. She could not manage to support the baby, tired for several months and after seeing her son not gain more than 1/2 lb in 3 months time decided to place him for adoption. She in my mind is a very brave unselfish person. Her birthson is my son now and is the most caring little boy I've ever met. We just completed our second adoption. Our son came home shortly before Christmas, he is now 9 months old. Smiliar story with his birthmother having 7 other children and her making less than $100 a month to support all of them. In retrospect how can we judge women that have no access to birth control, make the ultimate sacrifice to place their children in the arms of another family so they can give them opportunities they would have never been able to have in their social economic situation? Was the Guatemalan adoption system perfect, I do believe it would be extremely naive of me to think it was, but it was not as horrific as the media reflects it to be time after time. I traveled to Guatemala a total of 10 times throughout the last two years. I am fluent in Spanish and have had the ability of meeting many involved in the adoption world. Not all are perfect, not all are corrupt either. I did find they all love the children and want the best future for them. I find it unfortunate that there will now be children left behind without having loving families to belong to, families that are willing to adopt them and provide love and stability. The system will now require the children to be institutionalized in orphanages that are ravished in poverty. How many children will die? Well, thanks to the new reform I believe many will. Foster mothers were, again, not perfect but they loved the children they cared for individually. Now foster mothers will be a thing of the past. It is unfortunate that when my sons become of age they will read the negative press that the system which they were part of was declared "corrupt." No system is perfect, but the love of a child certainly is. --Anonymous , Coral Springs, FL (submitted on Jan. 15, 2008)

After years of considering adoption we decided to go forth and adopt from Guatemala. A mission God had planned for us, we accepted his plan and our lives have forever changed. Our adoptions were not easy, as nobody's is. Our daughter's adoption took 9 1/2 months. Our son's took 11 months, this was especially hard given our son was 18 months old when we started his process. Many, many road bumps came, it seemed we had gotten over one hurdle and another, bigger one was ahead of us! We kept our faith. We knew God had choosen this path for us. We just celebrated our son's 1 year GOTCHA Anniversary the other day. As I watch my daughter skip around the house and my son play legos and tell me the colors, I can't help but get teary eyed, I wonder how my children's birthparents are, if they are OK and I pray for them to find peace in the decision they have made to relinquish thier child. Every day that passes is a distant memory of the pain we felt during our children's adoption process. Our children have brought more joy to us than we could of ever imagined. --Jennifer Shelstad, Prescott, WI (submitted on Jan. 15, 2008)

In 2002 I married Esperanza, a long time friend and a Guatemalan national. I had already raised 2 children to adulthood. Prior to acceptance of the adoption agency referral, we spent countless hours researching the various options available to us to build our family. Our best choice was to adopt, and late in 2006 we brought a precious baby girl home from Guatemala. International adoption is ungodly expensive. With the help of friends, family members, and professional contacts in Guatemala, we hoped to complete a private adoption. In fall 2005, Espe received a call from a friend in Guatemala with news of pending birth to a poor, indigenous woman who was looking for a good adoptive family to take her child. Espe immediately flew to Guatemala to meet the mother and arrange and pay for pre and post-natal care for the baby girl we would name Angela Maria. Sadly, the adoption was not meant to be, as she was born with Down’s Syndrome and a host of other serious physical problems. There was no way that we were equipped to care for a child with such serious health issues, and we made the painful choice to relinquish her to an orphanage. It nearly broke our hearts, but ultimately proved to be the best decision. The little girl died of heart problems the day after Easter, 2007. Besides grieving over the loss of our adoption, we had little money left to begin again. Then one day a real-life angel stepped into our life, offering us a substantial gift to help make an international adoption possible, which ultimately cost almost $40,000. In January 2006 we accepted a referral to adopt a baby girl who would be born within the next few weeks. Esperanza visited her when she was still but 3-weeks old, and we flew back to Guatemala together over Memorial Day weekend to spend some time with our daughter. In September 2006 we visited the American Embassy in Guatemala City to jump through a few more hoops before bringing our precious baby girl home to Milwaukee, where we were greeted by several close friends, son-in-law Aaron, and my 33-year-old daughter Carla (whom I’d also adopted 28 years before). In this currently charged political atmosphere, it’s important to remember that America is a land of immigrants. My family arrived on this continent in 1635. My wife arrived here in 1996, and my youngest daughter in 2006. Our family celebrates both American and Guatemalan holidays and traditions. In our household it’s pretty common to eat a bratwurst wrapped in a tortilla while watching our beloved Packers on TV. Our little girl Marilu, named for my Irish-American mother, has two middle names: Natali, which she was named at birth by her biological mother, and Virgilia, for Esperanza’s mother. We stay in close contact with Lorena, our daughter’s loving foster mother in Guatemala, and with the family of Matteya, Marilu’s foster “sister”. Marilu, at the age of two, is fully bilingual, and our family embraces both cultures. --Gregory Smith, Milwaukee, WI (submitted on Jan. 15, 2008)

We brought home our beautiful daughter Marissa on Thanksgiving day!! I really feel that we with all of the changes going on, we got her in the nick of time! She has bonded with us from the very beginning and is the happiest baby ever. I attribute this to the wonderful foster care system they have in Guatemala. This was one of the main reasons we chose Guatemala. It was so apparent through monthy pictures and when we finally picked her up, that she was sooo well cared for. We adopted a boy at 7 weeks old 4 years ago through a domestic adoption. We chose to adopt a girl through international adoption..... thinking it would be easier. LOL!!! It was one of the hardest thing we've ever done. Not knowing what was going to happen from day to day was heart wrenching!! Thank God for Guatadopt! They kept me all of us in process informed on a daily bases with any changes going on. Also, I couldn't have gotten through it without the guatemala adoption forums. I met two woman that I've become great friends with. Ironically, we all were in Guatemala at the same time. God sure works in mysterious ways. One was also on her pick up trip and the other one was visiting her soon to be daughter that just turned 3. Now with all of the changes taking place, she is so worried and has no clue when she'll finally be able to bring her home. I'm heart broken for her. Overall, I feel that the system was a good one..... especially providing the foster care. Not only does the foster care system provides income for woman, but helps children thrive in ways that they would never be able to in an orpnanage. Yes, there probably is some corruption, but there is corruption here in the states too. It's everywhere. If you look at how many adoptions take place there, I think the percentage of corrupt cases were very small. The reason so many people adopt there from the US is because it's rare for people in Guatemala to adopt. It's a very poor country. We feel very blessed to have our beautiful daughter and cannot imagine our lives without her. It's very sad that so many kids are born when most woman connot afford to raise them. There needs to be an answer to correct this problem, --Belinda Strack, Fletcher, NC (submitted on Jan. 15, 2008)

We are in the process of adopting twin boys from Guatemala. We have been on this journey for the past 11 months. As I'm sure you are aware there have been many changes recently in Guatemala. I'm not sure people realize how much these delays affect our lives. It is like being on a roller coaster you can't get off of. You want your children home so bad you can't hardly stand it. The only problem is you have no control over what is happening. I never thought it would be so difficult to give two precious little boys a home. I'm not a writer and don't claim to be. I just want people to know and see what families go through waiting on their children. It is by far the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. We went to visit our children in September. You can't imagine the joy you have when you hold them in your arms for the first time or the agonizing heartbreak you feel when you have to hand them back at the end of your visit. I have a blog that I started for our boys I want them to know how badly they were wanted. It has our entire adoption and our feelings recorded. Nothing about our adoption has been simple or easy. We have been in PGN since September 11th. That's a very long time. There are so many people out there like us. The adoptions are so uncertain right now in Guatemala. What is going to happen to all of those poor children. I'm not saying there aren't issues that need worked on regarding adoptions but the recent laws passed are not the way to handle them. Every country has issues with adoptions not just Guatemala. I hope people understand we just want our babies home and for the children on Guatemala to have a figting chance!!!! --Tracy Thomson, Paducah, KY (submitted on Jan. 15, 2008)

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