Spice up your love life with the great sex diet

Test-driving the plan
The plan’s dos — fish oil, vitamins, healthy foods, PC workouts — seemed acceptable, although I was a little hesitant about taking 10 pills per day: six fish oil capsules, one multi and three calcium-magnesium-zinc. I went to the health food store and stocked up (about $50 for a one-month supply), then I ordered a $40 medium-resistance GyneFlex online.

On the other hand, I would sorely miss the diet’s don’ts — it warns against the effects of smoking, alcohol and caffeine consumption. A few times a month, I enjoy bumming a cigarette from a friend, especially when I’m drinking. But both tobacco and alcohol elevate serotonin, which throws off the brain’s delicate dopamine balance. Caffeine can have the same antiorgasmic effect, sadly, and as a three-cups-per-morning java junkie, I was doubtful about this aspect of the plan.

But I was determined to give the program a try. I substituted orange juice with seltzer for coffee the next morning and endured a raging caffeine-withdrawal headache all day, which did not make me feel hot in the nether regions. My menus included the usual abundance of skinless chicken, salads, fish, fruit and whole grains. I managed the huge number of pills by portioning them out over the whole day. Steve watched me taking the pills, curious yet cynical, but he couldn’t join me because he takes one of those medications that can’t be mixed with fish oil. “Men on the plan will get the cardio benefits,” Lindberg says. “But all that dopamine might lead to premature ejaculation.” No one wants that.

After a week, I didn’t notice any change, except grouchiness due to coffee deprivation in the morning. “It takes at least two weeks,” Lindberg assured me. “You’ll notice a change in libido and in clitoral and vaginal sensitivity. Also, the fish oil will make your hair and skin look youthful. Your eyes will shine. And you’ll get regular as clockwork.” That much I’d observed — and appreciated. But as far as the increased sensitivity: nothing. I dutifully took the pills and did my PC crunches with the GyneFlex. I was, as instructed, squeezing my husband during intercourse, waiting for the G-whiz moment to happen. My hair and skin looked shiny and bright. The fish oil had cured my chronic scalp dermatitis. My orgasms? About the same. My libido? Absolutely fine, but unchanged.

Cheating on the diet

Libido lifters Do these so called libido lifters really work? SELF asked the experts to weigh in on some aphrodisiacs. What it is: Emu eggshell capsules are said to rejuvenate sex drive. What the experts say: “There’s no guarantee about content or efficacy,” says Laura Berman, Ph.D., of the Berman Center in Chicago. What it is: Gris-gris bags — oil and herb sachets — can put you in the mood. What the experts say: “There’s no physiologically based reason why it would work,” Berman says. What it is: Horny goat weed is thought to stimulate sensory nerves and increase desire. What the experts say: There’s no proof, says Beverly Whipple, Ph.D., secretary general of the World Association for Sexual Health in Voorhees, NJ. What it is: Testosterone cream, applied topically, is claimed to rev up desire. What the experts say: None are FDA-approved for women. “A patch in Europe has been shown to improve arousal,” Whipple says. What it is: Cialis, a prescription medication for erectile dysfunction, is rumored to help arouse women. What the experts say: “There’s no testing to show that it’s effective,” Whipple says. And it’s not approved for women.

Impatient and frustrated, I resorted to drinking coffee again. After all, what’s a diet without cheating? Besides, in a study at Southwestern University in Georgetown, Texas, scientists increased libido in female test subjects by giving them caffeine. Granted, the test subjects were rats. And the scientists aren’t sure the results would translate to humans who already drank caffeine. So what? The study was justification enough for me. One cup in the morning wouldn’t completely compromise my diet. I hoped.

Meanwhile, I wasn’t having much success with the GyneFlex. I turned out to be one of those women who thought she had great muscle tone, only to realize she was as flaccid as mush. I inserted it and squeezed as hard as I could, as if to stop the flow of urine, but the two legs of the GyneFlex barely budged. I struggled until red-faced and sweaty. Abdominal crunches are nothing compared with vaginal ones. I wondered if I could strain or pull a PC muscle and how I might ice that. I started skipping sessions. Shortly thereafter, the GyneFlex barely made it out of the drawer where I kept it.

My enthusiasm for the whole project was waning. It had been nearly three weeks since I popped my first fish oil capsule, and my genitals were still not all atwitter on the highway or in the bedroom. When would I have an orgasmic breakthrough?

A body in overdrive
In hindsight, I think I was too focused on waiting for my body to go into overdrive. That’s because the first day that I was so busy with mothering duties for my two daughters, a deadline and a grueling workout that I didn’t even have a moment to think about the state of my libido, I found myself initiating sex with Steve, despite my fatigue. A kiss and a grope later, I was in full erotic ardor, as if we’d been at it for much longer. Not to get too graphic, but my sensitivity was electric; this was no ordinary night between the sheets. Afterward, both of us panting, I said to Steve, “I think the plan is working.”

“Working” turned out to be the understatement of the year. The change, which seemed to take forever to occur, gave me whiplash when it finally arrived. My sex life went from a 3 to a 9, seemingly overnight. I can only describe it as “louder,” set at a higher volume by every measure. I found myself thinking about sex constantly. I couldn’t get anything done. And poor Steve! By the end of the month, he started to look scared when I climbed into bed at night. I scaled back on the testosterone-freeing calcium-magnesium-zinc by one third, and my libido calmed down enough for me to get through an entire dinner without tackling my husband.

G-spot orgasms remain elusive, and Lindberg tells me I won’t experience them unless I use the GyneFlex. I don’t really care. I’ve crossed an important threshold: I’ve gone from enjoying sex to flat-out loving it. The results have been purely physiological and are unrelated to emotion or psychology. I haven’t reduced my stress level by taking bubble baths or become gooey and romantic because Steve took out the trash without my telling him. We haven’t lingered over a candlelit dinner. God knows, he hasn’t given me diamonds. It was a truly physical awakening.

It’s been two months since my libido surged, and although I haven’t become spontaneously turned on as Lindberg was (not yet, anyway), I am a damned happy woman. That smile on my face? Can’t wipe it off. Steve is excited for me, and that has brought on fresh enthusiasm. We’re back to the beginning — the jolt of instant arousal and persistent hum of desire — but we also have the trust of six years together to lift us up to new sexual heights. And the view from above is breathtaking.

MORE FROM DIET AND NUTRITION

Diet and nutrition Section Front

Affordable stores too far? Veggie vans offer aid Strike the right balance On-the-wagon wines Road-trip rescue Don't take a vacation from your diet Cleveland Clinic pairs with Weight Watchers NYC keeps the cannoli but drops the trans fats Sneaky ways to cut 100 calories Study backs carb-packed 'big breakfast' diet Man sheds 80 pounds on McDonald's diet Diet and nutrition Section Front   Add Diet and nutrition headlines to your news reader: