Hit it! Another celebrity Christmas song

This week, our leading presidential candidates all dropped holiday videos designed to spread cheer and score votes. Sure, they’re shameless but, hey, it’s the holiday season and there’s no shame at Christmas. This is something celebrities have understood for decades. Stars pull stunts at Christmastime that they could never get away with the rest of the year. And thanks to wonder of YouTube, we get to enjoy them all year long! 

Here are a few of my favorite pop culture Christmas opportunists.  Feel free to re-gift.

Heidi Klum, “Wonderland”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yPLIo50zyAk
Remember a few cycles back on “America’s Next Top Model” when Tyra Banks decided she was going to be the next Jody Watley and had all the contestants appear in the music video for her debut single “Shake Ya Body”?  Well, that album never dropped but that dream sure did.  I think that if Tyra had put out a holiday song, that dream might still be alive. 

Heidi Klum seems to have learned from Tyra’s misstep and the result is “Wonderland,” a song that was written for a series of German TV spots and recorded by Heidi last year. The proceeds from the single were donated to a children’s charity in Germany, which is brilliant because Heidi can pretend she’s doing it for the children when the truth is she wants to be Carrie Underwood so bad she can taste it. 

Heidi has a surprisingly pleasant voice and the song itself is crazy-catchy, like cold sore catchy. Just when you think you’ve shaken it, you have another outbreak. What’s irksome about “Wonderland,” however, is Heidi’s half-hearted effort in the video. It looks like she gave the director 10 minutes of camera time, then pulled a Tim Gunn and said, “Make it work.” Who does she think she is, Britney? 

The first verse features Heidi in the studio singing the words off a lyric sheet. I know it’s her second language but I still think if you’re trying to cross over into a new showbiz arena, you should learn the words. There’s also some footage of Heidi looking amazing in a lovely white holiday get-up, but the same shots are used over and over and never once does she mouth the word “wonderland,” which leads me to suspect that the shots were repurposed from another endeavor.

Still, it seems to have worked for Heidi. She got her foot in the door with some yuletide cheer and she’s still singing. She recently crooned a duet with Seal at the Victoria’s Secret fashion show and guess what, she was off book! Tyra must be thrilled for her.

Kathie Lee Gifford, “Kathie Lee’s Rock ‘n Roll Tots Café: A Christmas Gift”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u_XPOqdIxGg
Regis’ former co-host pays homage to “Pee Wee’s Playhouse” in this holiday special from the 1990s. Kathie Lee plays a waitress with a bouffant, an attitude and a need to rap. That’s right, I said rap. 

“Come on, let’s hip hop!” she says to the café o’ tots before bursting into a rap version of “’Twas the Night Before Christmas.” I think this is the first time I’ve heard “hip hop” used as a verb, but I kind of dig it. It’s a shame that didn’t catch on. During the rest of the clip, Kathie Lee rocks the mic, busts some moves and basically hip hops her butt off. Can a Timbaland collaboration be far behind?

The “Star Wars” gang, Bea Arthur and Jefferson Starship, “The Star Wars Holiday Special”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=asnVcbWQ2cg
I had heard tell of this not-available-on-video debacle for years, but I’d never gotten to see if for myself until YouTube came along.  What’s more, some guys from the sketch comedy group Late Night Explosion were nice enough to edit the entire two-hour special into a five-minute best-of sizzle reel that fits nicely into any Christmas stocking.

It’s hard to say who were the biggest Christmas opportunists here because everyone involved likes to act like it never happened. “Star Wars” creator George Lucas has since been quoted as saying, “That’s one of those things that happened, and I just have to live with it.” 

One of the show’s writers, Bruce Vilanch, remembers Lucas being more hands on: “It was between ‘Star Wars’ and ‘The Empire Strikes Back’ and George Lucas wanted to keep the flame alive,” the former “Hollywood Square” told the Combustible Celluloid Web site. “He pulled the story out of the vault… and the Wookiees were the central characters. Unfortunately, all the Wookiees can’t speak, so they’re tough to write for. So I said, ‘Well, we have to load this up with stars who sing and dance and do shtick to cover up that the story is about these walking carpets.’”

And boy, did they. Jefferson Starship does a number and Carrie Fisher brings it home a ballad about “Life Day.” My favorite musical moment comes courtesy of Bea Arthur who plays a barmaid at the Cantina on Tatooine and sings “Goodnight, But Not Goodbye” to a roomful of boozed-up aliens.

“I was asked to be in it by the composer of that song,” Arthur later told the Portland Mercury.  “I had no idea it was even a part of the whole ‘Star Wars’ thing. I just remember singing to a bunch of people with funny heads.”

God, I miss the ’70s.

MORE FROM MUSIC

Music Section Front

Taylor made? All eyes on Swift at CMA awards ‘Glee’ brings joy to beleaguered music industry Beyonce, U2 among MTV Europe winners Village Gate club owner, Art D’Lugoff, dies Judge stops sites from selling Beatles songs Elton John on mend, prepares to resume tour Calle 13 shines at Latin Grammy Awards Rihanna to perform at American Music Awards U2 plays six classics in Berlin mini-concert Music Section Front   Add Music headlines to your news reader: