ISPs create tangled Web of sneaky fees

Sneakiest fee of all:  Broadband that’s really dial-up in disguise
When is broadband not broadband? 

Today’s Internet is a technological marvel. And yet, a few decades from now, historians will look back on our quaint time the way we see Edsels and Model Ts.  They’ll laugh and say things like, “How did people put up with those slow connections? Why did people watch videos in those tiny boxes?”  Despite today’s high-speed wizardry, getting fast Internet access is part science and part art.  And many people still pay exorbitant amounts of money for very poor, very unreliable service. 

We all know that automakers exaggerate — a little — when advertising a car’s estimated miles per gallon. That 45 mpg gas-sipper will probably get around 30-35 for normal drivers in real life. We all accept this. It’s not right, but at least it’s not that wrong.  And everyone pretty much exaggerates by the same factor, so consumers can engage in something like apples-to-apples comparisons.

But imagine if that new car with the 45 mpg sticker really got 2 miles to the gallon?  That’s how things sometimes work in broadband.

As I type this chapter, I’m connected to a broadband service that promises 400-700 kilobytes per second.  That’s blazing fast — enough to handle full-streaming video with plenty of room to spare for sending e-mail.  So why does it sometimes take several seconds for me to load Google.com, the world’s tiniest home page?

The reason: My actual download speed, according to tests freely available on the Internet, is about 29 kilobytes per second. If that sounds eerily like an old modem speed, well, that’s because it is. 

My story is typical.  The broadband marketplace is crazy.  DSL users find their bandwidth disappearing. Cable modem users fight traffic jams on the way home only to get stuck in virtual traffic jams with their neighbors when they log in, since they are all essentially sharing the same Internet pipe.  When it rains, satellite broadband users get bogged down.  And anyone who’s ever said, “Can you hear me now?” can guess how reliable broadband wireless connections are.

That’s not to say consumers can’t find happiness with DSL or cable modems. Both are still faster — much faster — than dial-up.  In fact, they are generally at least 5-10 times faster than dial-up, for only two or three times the cost. That’s actually a pretty fair upgrade.  But how are consumers supposed to pick the best service when the information is so irregular, and the broadband “mpg” they’ll get is so unpredictable?  More important, how are people to know if the $50-a-month service they purchased, and committed to with a long-term contract, has been pulled out from under them?

Anyone who pays for broadband should perform regular, independent speed tests on their connection. Numerous Web sites, like the technology news site CNET.com, list free bandwidth test sites. Speakeasy.net offers the easiest to use.  I like the site TestMy.Net, which actually stores your test results for reference. A documented archive of poor speed scores might prove useful if you end up in a battle with your provider and must ask for a refund.

But even if you don’t find yourself in a fight, taking a speed test is the only way to know if you are getting what you paid for. If the speeds are regularly disappointing, and far below what you’ve been promised, you should complain.

Broadband providers will cry foul when you run such a test.  They’ll tell you that you misunderstand. They’ll have an explanation. It’s not the pipe they’re supplying to your home. The fault lies with your computer, your applications, spyware, the phase of the moon, Microsoft Office, or your teen-ager, they’ll say.

Each of these explanations are plausible (well, except the one about the moon). Many, many factors can impact your upload and download speeds.  Just as many, many factors can impact how fast your toilet flushes.  But clogged pipes are often to blame; and for bandwidth providers, too many users and too narrow pipes often cause the problem. 

Since there is no way to know the true size of the Internet pipe into your neighborhood, your safest way to select a service is to find a nearby neighbor you trust, who’s happy with their service, and try it out yourself for a few minutes.  Then, when you sign up with the service, take the shortest contract commitment you can, and ask what happens if you just can’t get the download speeds the service has promised you — now, or in the future.

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