What Paris, Brit don’t know about their pups

This week, Paris Hilton finds herself once again appearing in an embarrassing Internet video — and it’s even ickier than the original! The impulse-puppy-purchasing heirhead is the unwitting star of an undercover investigation video recently released by the Humane Society of the United States — the same investigation that helped shut down one of her favorite money dumps, Pets of Bel Air. Talk about insult to injury!

Fuzzy surveillance tape reveals the perfectly coifed celebutante clutching a compact canine while shopping at Pets of Bel Air. Authorities closed the pet shop earlier this week after HSUS discovered that it hasn’t operated with a license in about three years. But that’s not the only thing HSUS found out about Hollywood’s puppy pimper to the stars.

“Learn the dirty secrets behind where the rich and famous get their puppies,” reads the text on a new HSUS video that exposes the ugly truth about the pet shop where Paris and Britney Spears picked up that tiny Chihuahua and trendy Yorkie (respectively) last summer.

Dirty secrets indeed! As the video reveals, these expensive specialty breeds hail from large-scale factory farm operations (aka puppy mills) in the Midwest, where the HSUS found hundreds of breeding dogs living in overcrowded cages that reeked of urine. It seems pop wrecks and heirheads who moan about their miniscule, self-inflicted jail sentences and/or other legal woes got nothin’ on their pets.

Ethan’s nanny diaries revision
Sigh. Contrary to the previously reported version of events, Uma Thurman’s ex Ethan Hawke totally hooked up with the nanny before the couple divorced.

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“They seem to be trying to rewrite history by saying they waited a whole year, so they could look innocent when word that they were together finally got out," said a Star Magazine source. "He was terrified, because he knew if Uma found out he was with their nanny, she'd blow up and the divorce would get nasty when it had been going relatively well."

Meanwhile, Gatecrasher, which broke the story earlier this month, features the first official photo of the formerly clandestine couple — and a fairly unflattering one at that. Ethan and The Nanny are pictured stuffing their faces at a benefit for NYU's Tisch School at the Marriott Marquis. To be fair, nobody looks good when they’re eating … except maybe Uma.

A dose of reality for Pam and Rick
With two months of marriage behind them, Pamela Anderson and Rick Salomon are ready to take that big step to the small screen. It’s hardly an unexpected development for the couple who, between them, participated in the two biggest sex-tape scandals ever. But according to Us Weekly, this time the planned production is nothing like “Pam & Tommy Lee: Stolen Honeymoon” or “1 Night in Paris.”

Instead, showing the same good sense that led to their quickie nuptials, Pam and Rick are headed for reality TV. “Think Nick and Jessica's show [MTV's ‘Newlyweds’], but with a lot more sex and a crazier family life,” a source told the magazine. And, hey, everyone knows how well that worked out for the Lachey-Simpson union!

Stating the obvious, the insider added, “These two don’t have any boundaries, which is perfect for reality stars.”

Dish on the fly
While she credits her fantastic form to yoga, Madonna lacks proper mat-tiquette. Queen of Pop cleared the group exercise room at Manhattan’s Reebok Sports Club last weekend, Page Six reveals. When an instructor told her she wasn’t allowed to gab, a fellow class member claims Madonna replied, “I need to speak to you,” and turned to the rest of the class, “I want you all to leave.” The teacher and the students hightailed it, according to the source, but Madge’s rep told Page Six, “That sounds unlikely.” … Glendale City jailbird Kiefer Sutherland gets enough fan mail to keep him well occupied until his Jan. 22 release, reports People. A jail spokesman said the “24” star receives “easily more than 100 letters a day.” … Despite recent rumors to the contrary, Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin are still together. The couple was spotted last week happily munching at a Union Square restaurant, reports the New York Daily News. “When Chris left the table, Gwyn ordered the meal for the two of them,” a source said. “They talked for hours — when a cake was brought to the table next to them, they even joined in singing ‘Happy Birthday.’”

Tabloid Tidbits is compiled by Ree Hines and Helen A.S. Popkin.

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