"Eat, Drink and Be Gorgeous" is about having your cake and eating it too. Registered dietitian and holistic nutrionist Esther Blum has helped show countless women how to put the fun back in eating, be a tigress in bed, eat and drink like a food fashionista, choose the right vitamins, feel up instead of feeling down, and realize that life is too short to be on a diet the whole time. Here's an excerpt from her book:

Being Gorgeous
Before we get started, I want to say one thing: This book is not about strict diets. Non non, ma petite coquette! I’m not going to demand that you eliminate entire food groups or tell you that you can no longer eat past five PM. Instead, Eat, Drink, and Be Gorgeous is all about moderation. It’s about having your cake and eating it too (so to speak)!

But perhaps you’re looking for a dominatrix who will spank you every time you’ve been naughty. Someone who will demand perfection, berating you into living a more submissive and Spartan lifestyle. Someone who will outline a program that will require you to cut out sinful foods and shed weight. If so, this book isn’t for you. There is no way in hell I am going to put you through that torture or nonsense! Au contraire, ma cherie; I am going to do quite the opposite. I am going to empower you to be decadent and healthy all at the same time. In this book, I’m going to give you little tools that you can pull out of your rhinestone-studded belt when desperate times call for desperate measures. And I’m going to teach you how to navigate life’s land mines and prevent you from falling from grace when you’re wearing three-inch stilettos.

Before we embark upon this journey, take a look at the list below. It outlines exactly what Eat, Drink, and Be Gorgeous will teach you. These lessons may seem somewhat unconventional—especially if you’re one of those on-a-diet-all-the-time-and-always-deprived young babes. But as your nutritional fairy godmother, I promise you they will only enhance your life.

Eat, Drink, and Be Gorgeous will:

- Teach you how to have fun, go out, and be healthy—all at the same time
- Show you how to put the fun back in eating and avoid restricting yourself
- Get your groove back in the sack and get your mojo going
- Tell you the secrets of the nutritional it girls…and how they can help you
- Teach you what vitamins are right for you
- Empower you with the secrets of how to recover from a nasty hangover
- Help you realize that life is too short to be on a diet the whole time!

Fill-osophy
If your mission is to add some health in your life, you must make it as enjoyable as possible. Would you rather work out at the gym or play out at the roller disco? Would you rather eat a bowl of diet Jell-O or a bowl of chocolate ice cream? If you approach your eating lifestyle with fun, passion, and creative energy, you will carry that same enthusiasm across all realms of your life. If you’re passionate about eating and bring sensuality to it, you can imagine how well that will carry over into, ahem, other aspects of your life! And, ultimately, that is the goal I have for you. After all, if you’re not having fun, what’s the bloody point?

We’ve Come a Long Way, Baby
The dietitian in today’s society has it much better than the older generations did. When I first started out in the field, I had the impression that all dietitians wore hairnets and stirred giant vats of soup, advocating the four food groups and the merits of the food pyramid. Fortunately, the only nets we wear today are fishnets, instead of stirring soup we’re stirring up martinis, and the four food groups have fallen to the wayside, replaced by a more well-rounded approach. Of course, in my house there are still four food groups: chocolate, cocktails, desserts, and caffeine. (Kidding. Kidding!)

While dietitians have always advocated that diet is the absolute foundation of health, I’m here to tell you that pleasure is the most important nutrient in your diet. I’ve had many patients who are thin but absolutely miserable because their eating fears and obsessions weigh on their psyches, pull them down, and gnaw away at their esteem. On the other hand, I also have patients who are five to ten pounds over their dream weight yet live happy, fulfilling lives because they aren’t obsessing over every little morsel they put in their mouths. Who’s having more fun here despite a few extra pounds on their frame?

Take a look at me. I don’t have the perfect body, and like every other woman out there, I have areas that I would like to improve upon. However, I also enjoy eating gooey chocolate desserts and am famous for being the vodka queen who makes some of the meanest martinis in town! If you told me I could never enjoy these delights again, I would not enjoy my life to the degree I do. Now, I don’t indulge in these foods on a daily basis, but when I have a craving, I give in to it. It helps balance my life and reminds me that I need to have fun on a regular basis. This fun and free attitude carries over to my nutrition practice as well. That is why I will never ask you to follow a plan I couldn’t follow myself.

Personally, I believe it’s essential to eat a healthy diet, but if that’s not a reality for you right now, it’s better to be honest with yourself. Make slow and gradual changes rather than drastic, impermanent ones. Just like weight loss, the slower you go, the more likely it is that you’ll be successful in sticking to it in the long run. Remember, my pretty perfectionistas: No unforgiving diets are allowed in this book, nor will they be tolerated. There is no place for self-flagellation, harsh criticisms, judgments, obsessions with thinness, or unworthiness here! Push those thoughts of doubt and fear out the window. Instead, focus on what makes you fabulous, babelicious, bootylicious, tatalicious, and toast yourself, darling! You are what makes you fabulous. Forget about those women’s magazines that put skinny models on the cover. Remind yourself that the publishers of those mags prey on our insecurities. Being gorgeous is not about emulating an emaciated model. It’s about learning about how to nourish your soul with fun and good health.

The Black and White Cookie: Is It All or Nothing?
New York City is filled with all kinds of swingers. There are swingers who trade lovers, swing dancers on Broadway, and swinging singles. Then there are the diet swingers who come into my office every week. Those creatures I will affectionately call my little black and white cookies.

Now, if you’re not familiar with a black and white cookie, you’re in for a treat. I myself had never heard of a black and white cookie until my twenties, despite the fact that they are one of the last bastions of old New York deli culture. A sweet, chewy sugar cookie lies beneath the perfect yin-yang balance of chocolate and vanilla frosting. Just sinking your chompers into one can make you see God. And how a person eats the cookie can be a good window into how she eats in general.

So many of us are black and white about our eating habits. We will eat either the vanilla (angelic and wholesome) side or the chocolate (sinful and decadent) side, but not both. The same goes for our day-to-day diets: We’re either “very good” all week or “very, very bad”! Our inner pendulum wildly swings back and forth. One week we’re in the food equivalent of Las Vegas, indulging in over-the-top rich foods and drink; the next week we’re at the monastery denying ourselves. You may even hear yourself say, “That will be the last cookie”—or doughnut or French fry or chip—I ever eat. Ever!” Then you’ll eat salads for one day. Maybe even two. By the third day, you’ll never want to chew another vegetable again. It’s straight for the cookie aisle you head, to devilishly devour those glorious treats. And then it’s back to the drawing board all over again.

This all too familiar cycle is exhausting and self-defeating. I’m here to tell you that it doesn’t have to be this way. The secret to keeping it all in balance is to eat right up the center of the cookie—that is, give yourself a little bit of what you crave. You see, I don’t believe people can exist only in the land of black and white; I think we really need to play in the gray areas these days. I once had a patient who told me she constantly craved chocolate. So I said, “Well, how do you get rid of your cravings?” She said, "I eat chocolate!" My kind of girl. It’s this sort of attitude that keeps us from the cycle of bingeing and denying.

In my experience, people eat the way they live and live the way they eat. So, my little vixen—have a sensual experience every time you pop a piece of food in your mouth. Savor the flavor, love each luscious bite, and be present in the moment.

If you take only one thing away from Eat, Drink, and Be Gorgeous, take this: It’s okay to indulge in rich, delicious food—just as long as you indulge moderately. Now repeat the following mantras after me:

I will not restrict myself.
I will not deprive myself.
I will feed my physical and emotional hungers.
I will never starve myself again!

Simply put, that’s what healthy eating is all about.

Here’s a success story: I used to be very black and white in my outlook on life. I had perfectionist habits and was very hard on myself about getting things right. After living this way most of my life, I began to take a closer look at what a waste of time that was, and began to be true to myself. I quickly saw the rewards of living in the gray spaces and found that it set me free. Once I learned that I didn’t have to be perfect, I started having a lot more fun! My new mantra became “It’s not perfect, but it’s perfect for me.”

The Pleasure Principle
What would happen if we gave ourselves permission to eat whatever we wanted but stopped eating when we were full? We’d be a hell of a lot more satisfied and would really enjoy our food. And by giving ourselves permission to eat whatever we wanted, we’d empower ourselves to have control over what we eat rather than letting the food control us! Being healthy means taking responsibility for yourself while making peace with the day-to-day realities in life. When you say, “No more chocolate for me” you’re setting yourself up for failure. Instead, try saying, “I can have as much chocolate as I’d like, but one square will really satisfy me just fine.” Now, I admit, this is a delicate balance and can take a long time to master. After years of denying ourselves and then beating ourselves up, it may feel odd to change the pattern. But once you achieve balance, you will free up all that time spent thinking and worrying about food for other things—like laughing with your friends and whooping it up for a night on the town!

A healthy, happy, and beautiful woman honors herself and her cravings. When there is something you really, truly want and feel hungry for, have it. Does this mean eating an entire package of cookies at one sitting? Non non, cherie! This means that when you are going to indulge, you do it princess-style. Have a craving for cookies? Then buy the very best cookies you can afford, ones with only the finest-quality ingredients. Put them on one of your sassiest dishes, sit down at the table, and fully enjoy eating them. Had two and are still hungry? Go get two more, and repeat the exercise. Listen to your inner voice! Forget shoulda coulda woulda and live here, in the moment, right now. Let your taste buds come alive and let yourself engage in the eating experience. As your nutrition guru, I know that if you follow my advice you will be so satisfied that you will not overeat. Why? Because the quality of the eating experience will become so pleasurable that each time you sit down to eat, it will fill up more than just your belly.

The secret to indulging is to balance out your yin with some yang. For instance, I absolutely eat my greens, eat wild Alaskan salmon and organic protein, and drink green tea in place of coffee. But you’d better believe that I love myself some dark chocolate and foie gras. I’ll eat my French fries on vacations. And I love a greasy slice of pizza with basil and parmesan sprinkled on top. I feel fine about these indulgences because for the most part I do everything I can to take good care of my body. So there you have it: living proof that it’s possible to inject a dose of la vida loca into an otherwise healthy body.

Ain’t No Shame in My Game
With all this talk about the benefits of indulging now and then, I feel compelled to say a word or two about that evil monster we call guilt. It’s all too common—especially for women and especially in their attitudes toward food. I can’t stress enough that a sensual experience does not include guilt. Guilty eating is like carrying around a big bag of bricks—it feels so much better when you just put it down! Bring your food shame out in the open, acknowledge it, and set it free to the universe. So often emotional eating is the symptom, not the root of the problem. The root of emotional eating often stems from the fear of experiencing painful feelings. Rather than face those painful feelings, we eat to make them go away. The process of knowing what you feel and being able to sit with it takes time. When you want to eat and you’re not hungry, ask yourself, “What’s really going on here?”

Taking the shame out of eating will change your relationship to food in ways you may never have expected. The fear of “I’ll never be satisfied” gets replaced with “This is enough for now and I can come back to it later if I want to.” Change doesn’t happen by force, judgment, criticism, or guilt. Take the first steps toward change by softening the critical voice that runs our life. Isn’t it time you reigned as queen over your eating behaviors?

Years ago, I myself worked with a nutritionist while training for the New York City marathon. I had to keep strict food diaries and bring them into her office. I was as honest I could be (well, I couldn’t list every martini!) and managed to scribble down my chocolate indulgences. She glared at me over her glasses and circled everything “bad” with a fat red marker. I stared back at her hard and said, “I’m trying to develop a healthy relationship with chocolate here! If I keep it in my house, it’s no longer a forbidden food.” She said smugly, “There’s no such thing as having a healthy relationship with chocolate.” I decided to follow my own inner-goddess instincts instead. Who do you think still has chocolate in her cupboard and takes great delight in two squares a few nights a week?

One Bite at a Time
You may wonder, “Why does everything have to feel so black and white for me? I feel like a failure if I don’t follow a program 100 percent of the time.” I’m here to tell you that the path to food enlightenment starts with one bite at a time. Know that it isn’t about perfection but about progress. It isn’t about eating perfectly but about feeling comfortable and empowered about your choices. It isn’t about being too hard on yourself but about letting go and stretching those personal boundaries. In a nutshell, it’s so easy to feel guilty about what we’ve eaten or should have eaten, but if we spend our time wishing and hoping and yearning, we can’t be present in the moment of now.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Only you know what is best for you. Throw away your diet books and wipe the slate clean. Learn to trust your own judgment and check in with yourself. We don’t need other people to define our hungers and appetites. We inherently know what our bodies need, and we honor ourselves. We create our own rules; we do not need others to tell us what to do—except, of course, when we need a little reminding that eating cookies now and then is a very good thing.

Excerpted from "Eat, Drink and Be Gorgeous” by Esther Blum. Copyright 2007 Esther Blum. Reprinted with permission of Chronicle Books. All rights reserved.

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