Stress. It’s a part of life. But there are smart things you can do to get through tense periods of your life, and having that know-how is critical. “Stress, which is your mental, physical and emotional response to pressure, can compromise your health,” notes Gail Porter, Psy.D., codirector of the Gaston & Porter Health Improvement Center in Potomac, Maryland. You’ve probably heard that stress has been linked to everything from heart disease to problems with the immune system. But it can affect you in other more surprising ways by decreasing your productivity or even lowering your self-esteem. So if you’re tired of letting stress get the best of you, start practicing these techniques for finding greater calm and less chaos in every tension-inducing area of your life, right now.

Family drama
Let us guess: Your sister has asked you to baby-sit for the third time this week because “something’s come up.” Or maybe you’re stuck in the middle of an argument between your two cousins who are on the verge of never speaking to each other again. For Gina Parker Collins, a 41-year-old vice-president at a media company, her family tension arose from being a part of the sandwich generation. “I promised my dad I would never put him in a nursing home. So when he got Parkinson’s disease, I brought him home to live with me, my husband and our two kids,” she says. But it was a tremendous responsibility for her, not only helping with medications but also daily tasks like getting Dad dressed. Some stress-relieving solutions:

Ask for volunteers
“Understand all your resources before you commit to helping anyone,” says psychologist Angela Neal-Barnett, Ph.D., author of Soothe Your Nerves: The Black Woman’s Guide to Understanding and Overcoming Anxiety, Panic, and Fear (Simon & Schuster). That means pulling in support systems like other family members, friends, a therapist or even hired help to get through tough family times and lighten your load. You could also contact sororities, churches and social services centers to connect with people in similar situations. Their sage advice and experience could help you identify strategies to make your family situation easier. (Check out Today’s Caregiver magazine’s Web site for ideas on finding support.)

Give up the guilt
Brush past the idea that you should feel guilty taking time for yourself. Don’t feel bad if your kids know that Friday after work is earmarked for Mom’s pedicure or if your family knows not to call you during your Sunday brunch with the girls. And remember, your health is just as important as the health of those you’re trying to care for, whether it’s a sick relative or troublesome child. (After all, if something happens to you, who will take care of them?)

Career chaos
Logging extra hours to meet tough deadlines. Constantly multitasking. Dealing with difficult coworkers. Brief bouts of stress may help you get the job done. But when your stress is chronic, it can become a problem by decreasing the amount of work you can focus on, increasing your irritability and possibly making you sick since your immune system will be weaker. Here’s how to handle it:

Take a minute
“I know everyone’s busy, but there’s so much research that shows that if you practice serenity, your blood pressure drops and your immunity is boosted,” says Kathleen Hall, Ph.D., author of Alter Your Life: Overbooked? Overworked? Overwhelmed? (Oak Haven). How do you practice serenity? She suggests spending 3 to 5 minutes at least once a day listening to nature sounds (like rain or wind blowing) or doing a short meditation or even repeating a positive affirmation (like “I am strong,” or “Keep letting go”), taking a breath between each phrase. Tossing a minibasketball into a hoop on your wall or even goofing around for a few minutes with a computer game can help, too. “Being playful can lower your blood pressure and may even increase productivity,” she says. (Try going to games.yahoo.com or pogo.com for quick computer fun.)

Heed advice
“Peer consultation and professional mentoring allow you to connect with other professionals who have paved the way through similar experiences,” says Savitri Dixon-Saxon, Ph.D., interim associate dean of the School of Counseling and Social Services at Walden University. “Once you understand who you are and what you want to do, you have a good framework for accomplishing work and personal goals.” Talking to your boss about tasks outside your job description that you may have been asked to take on could also help. Together you can prioritize what is most important and try to jettison what’s not.

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