How to battle ‘bud broadcasters,’ Grumpy Gus

Q: At all-inclusive resorts, is tipping expected?

A: It depends. Some all-inclusive resorts forbid tipping while others allow bartenders, pool attendants and restaurant wait staff to accept tips from satisfied customers. It seems to depend on the resort and, in many cases, on the traditions of the country you’re visiting. It’s always a good idea to do your homework.

For example, at many of Jamaica’s popular all-inclusive resorts, travelers pay one rate that covers all expenses, including accommodations, meals and drinks. “Generally, this includes even tips and at the larger, more established all-inclusives, tipping is forbidden,” says Basil Smith, Jamaica's director of tourism. Tipping at some of the smaller all-inclusives is “completely optional,” he adds.

Confused? Just wait. These days, some “regular” hotels now add resort fees, various amenities and tack on automatic gratuities for services such as housekeeping. Dallas/Fort Worth-based etiquette expert Susan Huston says, “You should always ask the agent that books your trip or inquire at the hotel when you book. And don’t be shy about asking again when you’re on-site.”

Huston adds: “You’ll always get better service if you say thank you with a tip.” But if you are at a resort that strictly forbids tipping, or if you choose not to tip, remember there are other ways to acknowledge and reward good service. You might make sure to fill out a comment card or write a letter to the manager that praises, by name, the service of specific members of the staff.

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Q:  My carpool has been running for some time now. One of our original riders constantly has something negative to say and [his/her] neurotic nature drains me. I've tried to change the subject, etc. No luck. Any suggestions?

Here are some things to try:

• Cut that cranky carpooler some slack. He or she may really be having a hard time at work or at home and see the carpool as a safe place to shake off the day.
• Don’t let it get to you. Remind yourself that it’s just a car ride. You and the negative-rider will arrive at work or at home and go your separate ways. Do keep trying to change the subject and try to get your carpool-mates to join in on the effort.
• Talk to Mr. or Ms. Negative away from the carpool. Let them know how their comments are making you feel. They may think they’re being funny and not even realize how negative they seem to others.
• Revisit and revise the carpool rules. (You do you have rules, don’t you?) You might try “Mozart Mondays,” “Great trips Tuesdays,” or simply riding in silence on Wednesdays and Fridays to give everyone a break.

Of course, you can always change carpools, wear earplugs or crank up your headphones and “bud broadcast” your way to work.

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