Harriet Baskas Travel writer

“Bud broadcasting,” tipping at all-inclusive resorts and dealing with that cranky carpooler, the Well-Mannered Traveler answers your questions.

Q: What is the polite way to let someone listening to music with headphones know that you (and everyone else) is hearing the music and finds it annoying?

A: iPods and other portable music players rank right up there with car cup holders as some of the greatest inventions of the modern world. But there are costs associated with any great leap forward. When it comes to personal music systems, “bud broadcasting” seems to top the list.

Some folks seem to intentionally “leak” music from their headphones. But more often than not, that clueless traveler bopping to the beat has turned up the volume because they’re using inexpensive ear buds that don’t do a very good job of blocking out background noise. Their effort to compensate for their cheap headphones, however, shouldn’t mean that you need to listen in.

If you’re seated near a “bud broadcaster” you might:

• Move to a new seat, put on your own headphones or start wearing earplugs during your commute.
• Ask politely if the person will “please turn down the volume, just a notch or two.”  You can do this verbally or, with all due respect to the late Marcel Marceau, in mime: point to your ear, point down, give a little pleading smile and put your hands together in a gesture of prayer. The response may be the universally recognized mimed gesture for “no way, jerk!,” but it’s worth a try.
• If the offender is a regular on your bus or train commute, print out an article on hearing loss and headphones (try this WIRED commentary). Offer the article and say, “We’re both regulars on this commute and I can’t help but notice how high you keep the volume on your player. So I thought of you when I saw this article.” Again, your action may once again be met with the same mimed “jerk” gesture, but I bet your neighbors will thank you for trying.

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Q: I'm ashamed to ask this after 15 years of business travel, but if one has access to a hotel's concierge lounge for breakfast and evening snacks, is it appropriate to tip the person staffing the lounge?

A: Lucky you for getting access to those lounges. From a stint as a hotel reviewer, I know that some of these rooms are simply self-service affairs with a platter of tired-looking fruit and rolls, but that others are truly lovely club-like spaces with open bars, extensive food offerings and dedicated staffs.

What you tip is up to you, but it’s definitely appropriate to tip the people staffing the lounge, especially if they mix you a drink, serve food or arrange for dinner reservations at a restaurant sure to impress your clients. If the concierge goes above and beyond and secures hard-to-get theater tickets or dinner reservations, for example, tip accordingly.

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