Female absenteeism is not just about child care

Indeed, Lauren, a Cleveland mother of two teenage daughters, finds she can never call in sick because she’s worried about how it will be perceived at the equipment company she works for.

“Even when my daughters are sick, even when I'm sick, even when I have a myriad of pressing problems, even when I have the cable guy coming to the house or the chimney sweeper or the plumber, even when my mother is sick and needs me, even when my father-in-law is in the hospital, I don't call in sick,” she says.

But she believes her male colleagues get a pass. “I must work much harder at my job than my male counterparts and continually prove my loyalty and commitment to my job precisely because I am a woman and mother,” she stresses.  “If I were a man, believe me, I would have a lot more latitude where my personal life vs. job is concerned.”

There may be something to her perceptions, says Christopher Flett, author of “What Men Don’t Tell Women About Business.”

“It’s horrible to say, but men in the office will say she doesn’t take her career seriously when a woman takes time off for family reasons,” he explains. “They’ll think: ‘We can’t depend on her. If Billy breaks his arm she won’t show up for the presentation.’”

Flett acknowledges that women carry most of the responsibilities at home, whether caring for ill children or aging parents. But he believes women can be their own worst enemies in the workplace because they feel the need to give managers too much information. “Women will often make excuses for why they’re not coming to work, which opens them up to the alpha males that keep them out of the corner office.”

He suggested that women should keep their personal lives to themselves. “If a woman needs a sick day, take one without telling people your kid is ill, or you need to take care of your sister. It’s no one's business why you’re taking the day off,” he adds.

Of course, women should take advantage of family-friendly policies offered by many employers. Experts believe that may be one reason the absentee rate is falling among men and women.

According to BLS numbers, the overall absenteeism rate dropped to 3.2 percent in 2006, compared with 4.2 percent in 1994. Among men the rate dropped to 2.4 percent from 3.1 percent in that period, while for women it declined to 4.3 percent from 5.7 percent.

Despite the declines, there are factors that may keep absenteeism rates among women higher than men for the foreseeable future.

“For reasons related to societally sanctioned sex-based roles, in addition to biologically determined roles relative to breast-feeding, of course, women bear the brunt of the responsibility for sick children,” says Jack Tuckner with the Women’s Rights in Workplace Advocacy.  “Of course some men share in these responsibilities, but women assume the lion’s share of the child-related work and hence suffer inordinate workplace consequences as a result of their absences.”

But, he maintains, just being a woman, mom or not, can work against you: “It’s a stereotype inoculated in our bone marrow. You are less reliable because you’re a girl and not driven by testosterone.”

It’s an unspoken reality in the workplace, adds Anthea Maxwell, a recruiter with human resources consulting firm Vertical Bridge. “When my clients are interviewing women with young children they just assume they’ll need extra days off. That doesn’t happen with my male candidates,” she explains.

Even in her own career, a former employer just assumed she’d be less reliable when she informed them she was going to have a baby. “Their reaction wasn’t very positive,” she says.

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