‘Next Great American Band’ is no ‘Idol’

Contrary to all expectations, "The Next Great American Band" is nothing like it’s parent, "American Idol."

The obligatory foreign judge speaks with an Australian accent, not an English one. Sheila E. is not another Paula Abdul — in her own words, she's "the sensitive, nurturing, but I'm-not-gonna-take-no-mess judge." And host Dominic Bowden isn't Ryan Seacrest — he's just New Zealand's version of the ever-present American entertainer, as he said in the show's introduction. Yes, it really is that dramatically differenent.

But the real difference is that the show offers the judges the chance to rip into poor efforts from lead singers and to drive wedges between friends by singling out the poor performers within individual bands. Not only do people get their dreams crushed (accompanied by the requisite maudlin rock vocal), they also get to hear that it's all their fault that their buddies are going home early.

That's what happened to Northmont in the premiere. The Ohio-based band auditioned for the judges only to hear that while the lead singer was good enough, the rest of the group was lacking. But it was good enough to earn a second chance to audition.

After a night of practice, cursing and acrimony, Northmont got another chance … only to hear the same thing: The singer was great, but the musicians stink, so pack your backs and go home!

Slide show ‘Idol’ auditions Thousands turn out in cities across America for a chance at stardom on season 7 of the hit show. more photos

The sad thing is that in the non-reality TV version of the music scene, that happens all the time. There are plenty of acts playing in bars and clubs that have a big-time drummer and a small-time singer, or a front man losing time with a band that isn't good enough. It's just different when the news comes not from the long and grueling journey to stardom, but from one of the Goo Goo Dolls, an ‘80s act and an Australian.

Ready to rock
Nevertheless, it's not hard to see where the show draws its inspiration, and the fact that the contestants are finished acts adds a level of intrigue that could prove to be compelling. None of the groups look like they just decided to be a rock star five minutes ago and happened upon this soundstage, a trait that's a hallmark of the "Idol" auditions. Plenty of the bands have been around for a long time, and play like it.

Among the early acts featured was Sixwire, a Nashville-based band that's been together since 2000 and once had a record deal with Warner Bros., complete with a single that made the Top 40 on the country charts in 2002. Not surprisingly, the act was "among the best musicians we've had before us," according to judge Ian Dickson.

You had bands who, in the words of the judges, "looked like bands," such as Dot Dot Dot and The Hatch. The Muggs don't look like a modern band, but they sure sounded like old school rock. Tres Bien was solid. Franklin Bridge went straight from the Philly club scene to the final 12, and could make it a lot farther. The Clark Brothers have no drummer or base player, but have the energy to go a long way.

Plus, there's The Likes of You, with front man Geoff Byrd, who already has experience winning popular support with modern technologies. His Web site points out that he's garageband.com's all-time top-rated artist, and the group has opened for Hall and Oates on a U.S. and Canada tour.

Others were much, much worse. Because the audition process began with bands sending in DVDs, the show had to invite the crappy bands to Las Vegas in order to insult them. It seemed especially cruel for bands such as Fifi LaRue, who had to put on their heavy makeup and wardrobe in order to get smacked down in the Las Vegas desert, or the Dirty Marmeduke Flute Squad, whose singer wore a massive horse's head.

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