TODAY anchor empowered after cancer

TODAY anchor Hoda Kotb has said the words hundreds of times, assuring the people she interviews they are making a difference by telling their story, that they might be helping someone else out there. But she has never believed in those words 100 percent until now, when she finds herself on the other side of the camera.

“I’m hoping that me telling about my journey and the kind of hell I went through will help somebody at home who thinks ‘Oh god, I’m by myself’ or ‘Oh no, there’s just me,’” Kotb told TODAY's Ann Curry in a very personal interview. “Because it’s not just you. It’s never just you. You know, there’s a whole bunch of us out there.”

There are more than 2.4 million breast cancer survivors alive today, according to the American Cancer Association. One of them is Kotb, who has kept her battle private until now.

“I don’t want to be ‘the girl with cancer’ … I just didn’t want that to be my only thing,” Kotb said. “But it is part of me. And it’s a big part of me. So hopefully I’ll be able to use that part of me to help other people.”

‘You think it’s the end’
Kotb’s initial instinct when she was first diagnosed with breast cancer in February was to keep it to herself — partly because she didn’t want people to view her any differently, partly because she had a hard time accepting the diagnosis herself.

“I was one of those people who ate apples. I ran in the park every day, religiously,” Kotb said.  “I hardly drank — maybe on the weekends, likely not. Never did anything bad … The idea that on Monday I’m the picture of good health and then on Tuesday I’m going to the doctors and they’re saying, ‘Uh-oh, there’s a problem,’ blew my mind.”

Although doctors recommend women get their first mammogram at 40, Kotb, 43, had not adhered to the guideline. It was her gynecologist who discovered three lumps in her breast during a routine checkup and insisted Kotb check it out. Even then, Kotb was sure it was nothing. 

And then she got the call, officially becoming one of the estimated 178,460 new cases of breast cancer diagnosed in 2007.

“You think it’s the end,” Kotb said. “You think to yourself, when you have cancer, that’s the end. That’s what happens. People get it and that’s the end.”

‘I just want to jump’
Cancer is no longer a death sentence. Thanks to early detection and improvements in treatment, mortality rates are dropping faster than ever, according to the annual “Report to the Nation” on cancer.

The first step of Kotb’s treatment was a mastectomy to remove the cancerous lumps. But rather than turn to her journalistic background and research every aspect of the surgery, Kotb admits she “checked out.”

“Sometimes when things are way too big and I can’t control it, I do sort of a weird thing where I kind of check out a little bit,” she said. “It’s all about self-preservation for me. I couldn’t read the books. I didn’t Google it once. It’s like someone telling you what it’s like to jump out of a plane. I don’t want to know. I just want to jump.”

INTERACTIVE Standing up to cancer TODAY viewers who have been touched by cancer share lessons they've learned during their journey.

Kotb could not remain checked out after the mastectomy and reconstruction when it was time to decide the next phase of her treatment. Her lymph nodes were clear of cancer, but follow-up treatment was still necessary. The problem was some of the top oncologists in the nation disagreed on the right course of action.

MORE FROM HEALTH

Health Section Front

Adventures in Cancerland, Part 2: Lust for life   Keep it fresh! Dos and dont's to storing food     Why women feel tired     Dr. Nancy answers your sleep questions   New questions about bottled water   Swine flu shots could begin this fall Deadliest day for suicides: Wednesday Discuss: Should marijuana be legalized? Ha! Laughter comes in two types, study says   Healthy eating for your family Health Section Front   Add Health headlines to your news reader: