No matter what our primary parental concern is — safety, academic success, or even encouraging children to take opportunities that we ourselves missed out on — as parents we are, in record number, micromanaging our teen and college students’ lives. In fact, according to a recent study out from the University of Texas-Austin, most of us parents are involved in some kind of intrusive behavior. Here are some intriguing findings of that study:

All income levels, races, ethnicities, and both genders are involved in the phenomenon. Sixty to 70 percent of ALL parents of college students are involved in helicopter parenting in some way.

Sixty percent of all helicopter parenting is done by mothers and directed at sons — specifically, in the social, academic and domestic aspects of their sons’ lives.

Fathers are more involved in issues such as grades and finances, and are usually more forceful when it comes to contacting administrators directly.

It’s not uncommon for these parents to contact teachers and professors themselves to argue over grades or attempt to change test dates. Other parents, the enablers, are guilty of spoiling their children, and continue to carry on with this behavior well into their children’s adult years. They do their child’s laundry, clean her room and give her daily wake-up calls — despite the fact that their child is 25. Somewhat related are the empty-nesters. These parents can’t stand to see their child becoming independent and going off on her own. They often consider themselves to be their child’s best friend, and are more unable to let go than their child. With their children out of the house, they may feel a lack of connection with their spouse, and they strive to remain in constant contact despite the distance.

What is causing this trend? Most likely a number of things, from technology to society to the rise in tuition rates. With the availability of cell phones and other means of communication, every teen that leaves for high school or goes off to college is now only a phone call or text message away. Which means, basically, that kids are constantly accessible, whether they like it or not. In fact, cell phones are becoming referred to as the world’s longest umbilical cord!

By providing too much for children, often because they’re afraid to say no and want to be their child’s friends, parents end up with grown children who have never learned to take full responsibility for themselves. Now that paying for college — and even private school — is quite a financial stretch for many families, parents are recognizing that education is truly an investment. Just like any other financial investment they’ve made, they want to ensure that they are maximizing potential — that their child is getting out of college as much as the family is putting into it. Parents no longer see educational and career success as solely their child’s accomplishment, and they are willing to do whatever it takes to push their children to success.

Many parents, perhaps helicopters themselves, don’t see the big deal with providing their children financial, emotional and even career-related support well into adulthood. Yet the trend has gotten more out of control than many parents realize. In some of the more extreme cases, parents have taken it upon themselves to install cameras in their child’s dorm room, go on job interviews with — or even in place of — their child, or participate in their child’s college lectures via cell or video phone. Clearly, this goes way beyond simply calling our kids a little too often.

Somewhere along the way, the line between supporting and controlling children has been blurred. And while helicopter parents want only to help, they end up doing their child a disservice. Kids who grow up without learning how to do simple things for themselves might have trouble dealing with real-world conflict, taking responsibility for their actions or making decisions as adults.

What kind of helicopter parent are you?
So, are you a helicopter parent? And if so, what kind of helicopter parent are you?

Although some parents are just overinvolved in general, many fall into specific categories of concern:

The safety-minded helicopter parent worries about school violence, nutrition, or even the exposure to sex, drugs and rock and roll offered up by college roommates. These parents stay in constant contact with their child’s school, their child, and even other students and their families, keeping tabs on everything from school safety policies to their child’s whereabouts at any given moment.

The academic watchdogs continue to monitor their child’s homework and grades as carefully as they did in elementary school, and some even go so far as to help with homework and projects when they think their child needs a little boost. Others seek access to students’ grades without the child’s permission or knowledge. It’s not uncommon for these parents to call up teachers and professors to argue over grades or attempt to change test dates.

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