Left to my own devices, I am, at times, a helicopter mom. So I was more than a little relieved to read that Sue Shallenbarger of “The Wall Street Journal” is one, too. After all, if I did not speak with my son’s English teacher in fifth grade, would he have remained in the worst reading group of the class? And how about that scheduling snafu that left my 10th-grade daughter shut out of art class despite her passion for continuing her art studies? Suddenly the theme song of the movie “Ghost Busters” comes to mind: Who are they gonna call? Parent Busters! And so helicopter parents have liftoff.

Of course, it really starts those first few months of kindergarten with us parents lingering in the hallways outside the classroom, worried about our young children, wanting to make sure the morning transition goes smoothly. Yet part of a teacher’s job is to try to get kids to be as independent as possible, starting with showing the students how to put away their backpacks and coats in assigned cubbies on that first day of school. And so they gently chide us that class is under way and we should skedaddle, as in, go home. Some of us do, and others pile on volunteer assignments from classroom to library help to administrative tasks to justify lingering around to check out the lay of the land for the grade our child is in that year.

Fast-forward to college, where we parents now hover by the telephone, one call away from helping our kids tackle tough homework assignments, do Internet research, check out friends and roommates on Facebook and lobby for everything from a better roommate to better grades. And so parents have become a force to be reckoned with at high schools and on college campuses nationwide. It has become so prolific that schools have set up everything from two-day parent orientations to webcams in dining halls and dormitories for parents to take a peek at what’s going on.

The term “helicopter parent” came into vogue a few years ago among college administrators to define the growing trend of parents who seem just a bit too involved in their child’s day-to-day lives at school. It turns out that we overprotective moms and dads come from all walks of life, but we have one thing in common: hovering over our children and being willing to swoop down to intervene at every setback.

Tales of the helicopter parent
Stories abound: The mother of a University of Virginia business school student arrived in town before her son to rent him an apartment and set up all the utilities, much to the surprise of the student affairs director. At UCLA, parents are attending receptions for admitted students and requesting to sit in on classes. Yale found an increase in parents calling their admission office requesting catalogs for their children. At Dartmouth, parents called the director of admissions to complain that their children were not admitted. At many schools, administrators are starting to fulfill dean of parents roles alongside the dean of students, just to field the endless stream of complaints, interventions and parental questions. But wait, there’s more:

• At Tufts, the parents program hosts events, sends regular e-mails and provides grades to keep parents connected with their child’s on-campus life.
• Many schools, such as Brown University, hold specific orientations for parents, focusing both on how they can be involved in their college student’s life and when they need to let go.
• At Buffalo State College in New York, parents are invited to meet faculty members and administrators at a reception, and the college holds a parent and family orientation program to establish a partnership between parents and the school.
• St. Olaf College in Minnesota recently installed a “Hi Mom” webcam that allows parents, literally, to keep an eye on their kids.
• Montana State University created a parent/family association for parents — think “PTA goes to college.”
• The University of Vermont holds seminars for parents to teach them how to refrain from being too involved in their children’s lives.
• Colgate University coaches parents on their policy of self-reliance for students.

The high school helicopter parent
Even high schools are dealing with helicopter parents by giving them outlets for their energy. By creating new parent groups, booster clubs and other organizations, they allow parents to have their say without always trying to get directly involved. Other schools fight to ban cell phones — not because students are text messaging or calling each other, but because parents are constantly contacting their kids during class. And at private schools across the country, parents are finding themselves being turned away. Teachers and principals often refuse to meet with the most abrasive parents, and some schools have even added clauses to their handbooks saying children can be kicked out of school for their parents’ behavior.

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