Hipster parents want pop tots

What about using your tot to advertise your taste in music or politics, though?

As long as it doesn’t glorify and condone drinking — for example, Brooks-Gunn would not recommend Babywit’s onesie that says, “My mama drinks because I cry” — or use terms that you wouldn’t encourage your child to use (such as poopyhead), she doesn’t care.

Punk concerts? Disco parties instead of Gymboree? Watching fire dancers in lieu of Sesame Street?

“I think our children deserve to be brought up in their parents real and child-friendly worlds,” says Ariel Gore, a mother of two and author of "The Hip Mama Survival Guide," a book that answers questions such as whether mothers with nipple piercings can nurse. “If I’m a punk rocker or I’m really into Hungarian folk dancing or I’m a first-generation immigrant and that’s who I am, why should I have to leave that behind and raise my kid in some generic middle class American reality that doesn’t feel authentic to me?”

Brooks-Gunn says you don’t have to. Children thrive when parents are having fun and engaging them. “Enrichment activities help broaden children’s view of the world and they’re wonderful learning experiences,” she says. “It doesn’t matter if it’s Bach or an alternative band. If you’re talking about it with your kids and you’re asking what they think about it, it’s great.”

While she’s concerned that kids are being bombarded with messages about buying the latest cool stuff, she says whether that stuff has a mini-adult look or a Barney face, it’s all the same. Kids with crazy haircuts and parents with tattoos don’t rattle her either.

“If I’m concerned about something it won’t be about clothes or haircuts. It will be about parents not engaging children, not talking about views, not taking them places. There are a lot of ways not to be a great parent, this is not one of them,” says Brooks-Gunn.

Dora is cool to kids
Lanham, however, worries that if parents are turning their kids into pop tots because they think the result will be better, they may be disappointed. “If you think that your kid is going to pick up hipness through being in contact with a hipper aesthetic, you’re just delusional. Face it. Kids much prefer a Dora the Explorer shirt than a Wilco or CBGB shirt,” he says.

Edward Christophersen, a psychologist at the Children’s Mercy Hospital in Kansas City, Mo., says it’s really about balance and perspective.

“The most important thing to a kid is stability, not coolness,” says Christophersen.

Indulging in hipster events, music and clothes can be fun and interesting but, overall, kids should be left to develop their own culture, he says. “Clothes and music don’t make the kid and they shouldn’t be the highlight of the child’s life. The highlight should be bedtime and other important rituals.”

But Frost isn’t giving up. She just had her second child and is hard at work on her latest creation: the anti-princess dress. “It’s made locally with organic cotton; it’s really comfy but it’s hip,” she says.

And you can twirl in it. Twirling will always be cool.

Victoria Clayton is a freelance writer based in California and co-author of "Fearless Pregnancy: Wisdom and Reassurance from a Doctor, a Midwife and a Mom," published by Fair Winds Press.

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