Indy 500 racer revs up ‘Dancing With the Stars’

Significantly less charming, dot-com billionaire, Mavericks owner and self-proclaimed “wild man,” Mark Cuban started things off with one major setback. And it wasn’t his personality. No, it was the fact that just seven weeks before rehearsal began, he had hip replacement surgery.

It showed during training, where despite Kym Johnson’s best efforts, he appeared lumbering, sweaty and in no shape for what lay ahead. Sure enough, come stage time, he just wasn’t up to par. His campy faces and lip-synching distracted from some off his awful moves, but not most of them.

For some reason the judges were way too kind to Mark and Kym in the end, giving them 21 points, which put them right in the middle of the pack. For his part, Mark said he’s never had so much fun in his life. Well, there’s that.

The last performance of the night was, in some ways, the most disappointing. It wasn’t the worst; it’s just that expectations were so high for Wayne Newton. The man’s been on stage longer than most of these other people have been alive. But even with the advantage of two-time “Dancing” winner Cheryl Burke, he just wasn’t that great.

On the plus side, he displayed better footwork than most of the guys, which is especially impressive for a man in his mid-60s. But overall, his moves were stiff and not well suited for the cha cha. In fact, one has to wonder why Cheryl didn’t pick the foxtrot for their first dance. And why she didn’t pick a more flattering dress. (It was a repeat of that horrible hot pink color Jane Seymour sported the night before. Ladies, no one looks good in that color.)

Even with a score of only 19, the judges had mostly kind things to say to the humble stage veteran. They enjoyed his performance and really only faulted him for not “opening his hips up more.” Regardless of how he dances, he’ll stick around for a while. This dance earned him a standing O, and the fans love him.

Now comes the fun part, thinning the herd. Wednesday night’s results show will reveal the first couple to be shown the door. And while the fellas strutted their stuff to varying degrees on the live show, the smart money is still on Josie Maran and poor Alec Mazo for the boot.

Ree Hines lives in Tampa, Fla., and is a regular contributor to MSNBC.com.

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