War’s impact at home falls hard on relative few

Son's suicide drives parents' involvement
For some, like Joyce and Kevin Lucey, the help comes too late. Their son, 23-year-old Jeffrey, killed himself in June 2004 after he suffered hallucinations, depression and anxiety following his deployment to Iraq. The Luceys now spend their time reaching out to other families who may be witnessing the symptoms of post-traumatic stress. They have also launched a lawsuit against the Department of Veterans Affairs alleging that their son's case was mishandled.

The suicide rate among soldiers hit a 26-year high in 2006, according to a Pentagon report released in August.

The report said the numbers suggest a correlation between suicide and the number of days served in Iraq or Afghanistan, though failed personal relationships and legal and financial problems also were identified as factors.

The effects of long deployments in the combat zone may be the most pronounced for National Guard and Reserve troops, many of whom do not return to military communities and therefore lack the support network of those in the active military.

“What about the guy from the middle of Nebraska?” said Joyce. “When he gets back, his neighbors don’t get it.”

Kids often don’t get it, either, and that can translate into a range of behavioral problems when parents deploy and after they return, said Patricia Barron, the youth program leader with the National Military Families Association.

Why is dad ‘so different’?
“Sometimes teens will stay away from home because they don’t like the way home feels,” she said. “Or they don’t understand why dad has come back so different.”

Barron’s organization is focused on the needs of children who have had one or both parents deployed — an estimated 155,000 American kids. Among its initiatives is Operation Purple — 34 free summer camps around the country designed to help children deal with deployment and the return of injured parents.

As the war in Iraq wears on, this type of support appears to be growing, with large organizations and grass-roots groups launching efforts tailored for military families.

In July, Congress approved nearly $2.9 billion in the Defense Appropriations Bill for family assistance, including Army housing, counseling, child care and education for dependents, more than $558 million more than the administration’s budget request. It also increased spending on medical treatment for wounded soldiers.

The American Legion also is extending its reach, offering help ranging from child care to grocery shopping to military spouses and launching Heroes to Hometowns in 2005, a program designed to provide severely injured veterans with all the services they need after they return.

One California-based high-tech entrepreneur used his own money to launch a social networking site for returning soldiers in need of a job.

“The military guys are in this world that is completely isolated, … and the civilian society loses touch with its military,” said Dan Caulfield, founder of Hireahero.com and himself a veteran. “The good news is that social networking really can solve this problem … especially if you come from outer space, which is what the military is.”

For Kelly and Joe, normal life on hold
For Kelly and Joe, the issues surrounding resuming a normal life remain in the future. They now expect that Joe will be coming home around the end of October.

Kelly knows they will have to adjust — a process that promises to be wrenching. She doesn’t have a plan yet but has pondered counseling and getting more involved in their church to ease the transition for Joe and the strains on their relationship.

Joe is slated to complete his military service in January 2009. In theory, he could be redeployed to Iraq a second time if the conflict continues as it is. A stop-loss policy now in effect also prevents troops from leaving the battle until the end of a deployment, even if their military commitment should be ending.

But Kelly is adamant that it will not happen, though she isn’t sure what can be done to avoid it.

“He won’t go. We’ve already decided as a couple. We will not do this again,” she said. “We can’t.”

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