Emmy red carpet? That’s (literally) hot!

Miki Turner Entertainment writer

LOS ANGELES - I’m no prophet, but there’s one thing I always get right. Emmy Sunday is always the hottest day of the year. And the 59^th Annual Primetime Emmys at the Shrine Auditorium was no exception.

With temperatures approaching the triple-digit mark on the red carpet, Hollywood’s finest sauntered their way down the line to chat with the hundreds of media outlets cramped in spaces smaller than Muffy’s dog house.

This year, I got lucky. I'm situated in between the E! and TV Guide Channel platforms, so anybody who was anybody had to go through us to get to TV Guide’s Lisa Rinna and Joey Fatone.

Truthfully, it was like being at the best peep show in the world. Let me take you there.

1:05 p.m.: The first sort of pseudo-celebrity to pass by was Carson Kressley from “Queer Eye For the Straight Guy.” Sporting a baby blue dinner jacket, he nonchalantly waves to the one person in the bleachers that acknowledged him. Frankly, it looked to me like he needed a straight eye for the queer guy. The blazer was a tad too tight and a little on the wrinkled side. And for someone who’s 15 minutes are over, he could’ve been a little more gracious to that one fan.

1:10-1:20 p.m.: This is really the most annoying part of the day. All of the camera crews from the entertainment magazine shows get the fans in the bleachers to scream as if something is really going on. It’s not.

1:40 p.m.: I begin to feel the first beads of sweat dripping down my back. So glad I put on a double layer of deodorant.

2:10 p.m.: E’s Kimora Lee Simmons waves enthusiastically to the bleacher bums as she strolls by in a gorgeous purple chiffon gown. She knows how to play the game.

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2:19 p.m.: Fatone arrives on the scene sporting a standard black tux with red, green and black Gucci sneakers. “I’ve got to be comfortable,” he explains.

2:30 p.m.: This is the official opening of the red carpet. Christopher Gorham’s (America Ferrera’s love interest on “Ugly Betty”) publicist asks if I’d like to speak to him. Yep, we had a moment once.

2:36 p.m.: Wayne Brady, who plays the gay black guy on “How I Met Your Mother” and Uncle Louis on “Everybody Hates Chris,” arrives with his 4-year-old daughter Maile. It’s apparent she could so care less. He passes by me to go chat with TV Guide. My first snub of the evening.

2:37 p.m.: Rinna, dressed in a stunning strapless white gown, arrives.

2:38 p.m.: Rex Lee, who plays Jeremy Piven’s assistant Lloyd on “Entourage” races by. He looks even shorter in person. “It’s sad, but I really don’t have my own entourage,” he says. “Maybe I can recruit some of the people here tonight.”

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2:41 p.m.: Brady’s publicist comes back and apologizes profusely for rushing him off. She promises to bring him right back. Funny, I don’t remember asking for him…

2:45 p.m.: “Ugly Betty’s” Judith Light arrives in an off-white cream chiffon gown. OK, she’s now the best dressed. She ignores all the fans screaming her name until her publicist taps her on the shoulder and tells her to turn around. Then she snubs me.

T.R. Knight of “Grey’s Anatomy” races past reporters with two women at his side.

3:01 p.m.: I discover the man who has been standing next to me for about five minutes is Tom Selleck. Out of sight, out of mind, ya know?

3:03 p.m.: Eva Longoria makes her way up to the TV Guide platform. I find myself trying to make out what kind of tattoo she has on her lower back. When I ask her, she says, “Tony knows what it is.” All righty then.

3:10 p.m.: Ursula Burton from “The Office” is experiencing the Emmys for the first time. What does she think? “It’s hot!”

3:15 p.m.: Rinna and Fatone break out in an impromptu dance on the platform. Their producer tells them not to do it again. I agree.

3:32 p.m.: Jennifer Love Hewitt arrives in black chiffon and she wins the prize for the best looking hair extensions of the day. She’s followed by Ali Larter of “Heroes” in a hot red sateen strapless gown. The only thing I can overhear her saying is that she had breakfast with her boyfriend.

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