Get a clue, over: Cruising with walkie-talkies

Harriet Baskas Travel writer

On my last cruise assignment, I scribbled this scene into my notebook:

Woman in long blue gown waiting alone in line for formal dinner.  Leans over, takes walkie-talkie half-way out of beaded purse and “whispers” loudly into it: “Honey, where are you? They’re about to open the doors and seat us for dinner. Over.”

Man replies: “I’m still in the #!#!** cabin. I can’t find clean underwear. Over.”

Woman in long blue gown, “whispering” even louder: “Just wear what you wore yesterday and get up here already. Over.”

Man in back of the line: “Yeah. Just wear them again. I mean, over.”

The smart-aleck at the back of the line was probably the same “John, from New York” who wrote “Nix the walkie-talkies” in response to a Well-Mannered Traveler column that encouraged families to use walkie-talkies to stay in touch on cruise ships.

I have watched parents settle in by the pool, turn to their kids, and say, “Go have fun, but keep the walkie-talkie turned on so we can find you.”

That seemed like a good way to keep tabs on kids while letting them explore a closed-environment on their own. And, as Barbara from Prescott, Ariz., points out, walkie-talkies seem like handy tools for adults without kids as well.  “ ... My husband and I had no idea how large a cruise ship could be until we were trying to find each other, but you can bet we will have some better form of communication worked out if we ever get to go again.”

Hopefully Barbara and her husband will get to go again. But if they take walkie-talkies along, they’ll need to brush up on their “over-and-out” manners.

The Well-Mannered Traveler 9 hot spring break destinations Great travel deals, rock-bottom prices Discounts abound for major attractions Don't call with your travel complaints TSA's new secret weapon: politeness Money-saving tips for travel tightwads Ethnic profiling persists at airports How to get a quiet hotel room Canadian carriers cram to obey obesity ruling How to behave in that home away from home

I was certain that the “woman in long blue gown yelling into walkie-talkie in purse” was a rare sight. But Jeff Pruett from Atlanta, Ga., and many other readers wrote to confirm the existence of clueless walkie-talkie toting passengers on every cruise. “While your article on cruise tips was generally on the spot, I do take exception to your suggestion to bring walkie-talkies ... It's extremely annoying to sit by the pool on a beautiful day and have some idiot behind you shouting into one.”

Of course, a Well-Mannered Traveler would definitely not shout, or even “whisper” loudly, into a walkie-talkie on a cruise ship. (Nor, for that matter, would they do that in other public places. Like, say, Costco, where just last week I heard a guy use the walkie-talkie feature on his cell phone to contact his wife a few aisles over and ask, “Honey, could you use 148 super tampons?”)

So, if you are using walkie-talkies on a cruise ship (or anywhere) please:

• Plug in an earpiece,
• Remember that “inside voices” work just fine, and
• Keep in mind that people around you, and anyone using the same unprotected frequency, can’t help but listen in.

So it may not be such a great idea to use your walkie-talkie to arrange that illicit mid-afternoon rendezvous in your stateroom.

MORE FROM WELL-MANNERED TRAVELER

Offbeat holiday celebrations

Offbeat holiday celebrations Airlines want your money, but not your cash Holiday guide to germ-free air travel Phoenix airport hikes security in baggage claim Airlines hope wired skies take off Cheap and offbeat Auckland From L.A. to Auckland, love is in the air Flier forecast: Bumpy, with a chance of bacteria Hotel bargains — with a surprise twist DOT to you: Don’t text and drive   Add Well-Mannered Traveler headlines to your news reader: