Prime-time puts softer side of men on display

Series creator and executive producer Jon Harmon Feldman believes that men are now having “to deal with traditional female issues of fidelity, rejection or the challenges of love or making relationships work. We’re trying to attack those (issues) in a way that is true to how men would deal with it and hopefully bring a glimpse into men that women might not ordinarily get.”

But “Carpoolers” scribe Kit Boss argues that there has to be a line drawn on all this male camaraderie. “I just wrote an episode that answers the question: Are they friend friends or car-pool friends? In the case of that story, we definitely looked for a way to undercut anything that felt too emotional or too sensitive.”

For example, one of the characters, happy to find out that they were more than car-pool pals, goes for a hug. “The guy he was going to hug said: ‘Whoa, we’re not girlfriends. We’re friends.’ ... To me, the danger would be: Does this match the reality that I know? I generally find more humor in the inability to express one’s self ... than in being able to be more highly evolved as a male.”

That’s how TV has traditionally handled the topic of men and their hearts, with humor. It was the case with the father and son stories of “The Andy Griffith Show” and “The Courtship of Eddie’s Father,” workplace comedies like “Barney Miller” and “Cheers,” buddy romps like, “The Odd Couple” or the long-running “Frasier.”

“Male bonding, from whatever perspective, there’s just something silly about it,” says “Rules” star Patrick Warburton. “Personally, with me, just hanging out with my buddies playing some golf, playing some poker and, of course when I get my drink on out in the barn and I’m watching DVDs of Pearl Jam or Alice in Chains, if you’re a female it’s got to be silly — the same way, you know, that you’re a guy and you’re watching ‘Sex and the City,”’ he says, laughing.

Tough to attract viewers
Generally, dramas featuring sensitive men have had a tough time garnering large audiences, female or male. HBO’s comedy “The Mind of a Married Man” (2001) only lasted a season. And of the 2006 releases: NBC’s sitcom “Four Kings,” CBS’ hourlong “Love Monkey,” and the ABC drama, “What About Brian,” all came and went.

“One of the things that I loved about Brian was that he was so much of who guys are, the modern man, a little more sensitive, a little more open about showing certain feelings,” says “What About Brian” lead Barry Watson. “I think the reason why ‘Brian’ still isn’t going on actually doesn’t have anything to do with that — at least I would hope not.”

“We still have a deep-seated need for the man being the rescuer, the man being the hero,” says Warren Farrell, author of numerous books on men, including the best-seller, “Why Men Are the Way They Are.” “We’re sending a huge mixed message to men. First we want the football player and then we blame him for being rough and insensitive with women.”

Kevin Kay, general manager and executive vice president of men’s cable network, Spike TV, contends that broadcast executives — driven by advertisers — have long been interested in courting female audiences, so shows about men need to appeal to women. “I think that for advertisers, safer, cleaner, not as risky, not as edgy, more mainstream ... that tends to fall more into the category of shows that women want to watch.”

“The Sopranos,” to some extent, “is a good example of that,” says Kay. “The way Tony Soprano and his guys hung out ... you see the way guys talk to guys when nobody else is around. That’s the ability of cable TV to be a little more edgy.”

“Big Shots”’ Feldman realizes that “there’s a natural skepticism among men to embrace male characters unless you can prove to them that they are real men, which I think to men means they are not overly indulgent with their feelings. So you’re kind of walking a line. You want to write men that women find appealing and also men find appealing, which is sometimes paradoxical. That’s the challenge.”

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