From money to emotions: Get over your divorce

No matter what the circumstances, divorce is never easy. Both sides have to deal with heart-wrenching personal and financial decisions, but women in particular often find themselves in need of solid financial and emotional advice. 

Divorce financial analyst Stacy Francis and psychologist and author Debra Mandel offer their advice on how deal with divorce on both fronts.

Protect yourself financially
After a divorce, a woman's cost of living can increase dramatically, hence the reason why court-ordered alimony and child support payments most often go to women. Even so, experts report the average woman experiences a 45 percent decrease in her standard of living after going through a divorce. Meanwhile, the average man experiences a 15 percent improvement in his standard of living.

Divorcing women often react financially to their feelings. They operate from a place of feeling hurt, angry and unappreciated, and that influences spending — for good and bad. They may overspend to compensate for their feelings of loss or fear becoming a bag lady and eat nothing but Ramen noodles to save money. This is a time to look realistically at hard-core finances, and Francis recommends taking the following steps:

1. Create a budget
   Look at what expenses can you eliminate, what you can reduce. Budget knowing you won't have the same standard of living. Look at your income, investment income, alimony, child support. If you have credit card debt, it means you're overspending. Stay on budget. Many women underestimate household expenses — mortgage/rent, utilities, repairs, insurance.
   
   
2. Emergency fund and health insurance
   Take any money you receive from your divorce and build an emergency fund — three to six months of your living expenses. Financially protect yourself and your family in case something happens and you can't work. Learn not to become dependent on using credit during financial hard times. Build this fund even before you invest.
   
   Make sure you have medical insurance in place. You can continue coverage under a husband's group plan for up to three years after the divorce, but you pay the premium. You may need to find a lower-priced policy on your own.
   
   
3. Invest your settlement
   Once you have your emergency fund in place, invest a substantial portion of your settlement. This is an opportunity to secure your financial future and achieve long-term financial goals, such as purchasing a home, sending your kids to college or retirement. Work with a reputable financial planner to help you invest it properly.

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