Good old days: Tough on gays on film

“The Sergeant” (1968)
If you think “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” is an unwinnable situation for gays in the military, try being one in 1968 when it was assumed that there simply were no gays in the military. That’s what happens to Rod Steiger as he battles his attraction to “Barbarella” male bimbo star John Phillip Law. Ultimately, he shoots himself after the angriest man-on-man kiss in screen history. So at least he got a little action before doing the only honorable thing.

“The Fox” (1967)
Put some lesbians on a farm and you’d think they’d turn the place into an organic co-op, but in this movie they simply come undone. One (Anne Heywood) gets cured of her lady-attractions — that whole “right man” scenario again. The other (Sandy Dennis, subverting stereotypes by being the “feminine” one) dies when — and I am not making this up — a giant tree falls between her splayed-wide-open legs and crushes her. If you’re going to die symbolically then that’s the way to do it.

“Staircase” (1969)
The most mind-boggling one of all. Richard Burton and Rex Harrison star as a long-time gay couple who seethe with stunted fury and attack one another with a seemingly endless supply of hateful insults. They spend their days bickering in a shabby, claustrophobic apartment, pursing their lips and squealing, “Oooh!” like they were an eternally damned pair of old British women in a Monty Python sketch dunked in a vat of pathetic existential despair. And unlike more obvious targets like “The Boys in the Band” or “Cruising,” films where at least the self-hating gay men held a semblance of control over their own lives, these two suffer from a variety of outside problems they can never fix. Try finding the retro appeal in this one. In fact, try sitting through it until the end. Afterward you’ll feel like sending Adam Sandler a cookie bouquet.

Dave White is the film critic for Movies.com and the author of “Exile in Guyville.” Find him at www.imdavewhite.com

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