Could Nicole’s baby bump keep her out of jail?

And while observers of the law and the media currently have much bigger fish to fry — say, Alberto Gonzales’s ever-shifting testimony before Congress and the possibility that U.S. Attorneys were fired to allow the Republican Party to fix future elections — the Richie case is an interesting one in that it raises disturbing questions of its own. Do we still assume that a pregnant woman is somehow powerless and non-threatening?

Are “bad girls” no longer bad once their hormones skyrocket and their feet swell and they have to go to the bathroom every five minutes? And on the other hand, has the legal system been so tainted by the current administration’s machinations that the rich and powerful feel even more above the law than they used to?

It’s probably unfair to pin such weighty issues on Richie’s frail, bony shoulders, but every possible outcome of this trial will now be colored to some extent by her pregnancy. If she gets off, the media will more likely attribute her acquittal or probation to her delicate state. If she gets put behind bars right away, the public and the media will sympathize with her plight (never mind that women’s detention facilities coast to coast are currently packed with young moms-to-be). And if her sentence is delayed until after the child is born, we’ll get lots of “Nicole weeps as guards separate her from the baby!” headlines.

If someone as middling on the celebrity food chain as Nicole Richie can change her fortunes just by putting her uterus to use, how long before political figures do likewise? Scooter Libby managed to duck prison time without fallopian tubes, but don’t be shocked if Condi Rice or Monica Goodling — heck, even Harriet Miers — suddenly announces a forthcoming bundle of joy. And if the news should happen to coincide with the delivery of a congressional subpoena, so much the better.

Duralde is the author of “101 Must-See Movies for Gay Men” (Alyson Books). Find him at www.alonsoduralde.com.

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