Going to sleep-away camp
Most children enjoy the fun, freedom and friendships of attending sleep-away camp, and look forward to it every year. There’s a camp for just about any budget—from the less expensive Boy- or Girl-Scout programs and State environmental varieties to the more costly educational, specific-sport, religious or skill-based types. Trust me, if it’s just pure fun that you’re seeking for your kids, don’t base the camp decision upon how much it costs! Inexpensive experiences are often the most fun, and don’t take a large chunk out of the family budget.

In choosing an appropriate camping experience, word of mouth is probably the best place to begin—check with your friends to gather their experience with various camps, and also don’t be afraid to ask the Camp Directors for a list of parents who will vouch for the safety and appropriateness of the program. And, do give them a call to personally get a feel for the climate of the program—the types of kids who flock to soccer camp may have distinctly different interests, personalities and summer expectations than those who opt for the latest computer skills summer program!

Also, check out the American Camp Association for a detailed description of all kinds of camping experiences—including religious, athletic, volunteer and skill-development programs. This information can be found online at: http://www.acacamps.org/about/profile.php

Many camps welcome kids as young as seven or eight years of age, but unless they are attending with an older sibling, I personally feel that children benefit more after they’ve reached the age of ten years or so. Again, age needs to be based upon the individual child’s maturity and interest levels. If your eleven-year-old seems frightened of the idea, don’t do it! Start out with over-nights at friends’ homes, weekend retreats with Youth Groups or Scouting programs, and gradually build up to a one- or two-week sleep over experience. Don’t push it—kids do not need to experience residential summer camp in order to develop into interesting, responsible adults! It’s icing on the cake—and a terrific way to meet new friends and to garner new experiences, but not essential to child development.

If your child does attend camp for the first time this summer, expect some tears and homesick feelings…but leave it to the professionals to handle. Camp counselors are pro’s at distracting children from their fears and redirecting them to neat activities. Then there’s the child who leaves home for the first time without nary a backward glance, and if they weren’t forced to either call home weekly or send emails they just may not communicate during the entire camp experience! Don’t take it personally…Junior is just having a good time and asserting his independence.

Getting a first job
This is easy to address — the answer to “when is it appropriate to get a first job” is “whenever someone will hire your child”! Employment is a marvelous way for your kid to increase self-confidence, build their sense of responsibility as well as to earn some money. Too often our children are treated as if they are entitled to things (material and activity) just because they are kids. It’s terrific when a child earns their own money to save, purchase coveted items (television for the bedroom if allowed, laptop computer, cell phone), or to use for various activities.

The kid who couldn’t get out of bed in a timely fashion on school days will usually be up and at ‘em when it comes to bugging you to drop her off for work at the mall Food Court. And, this is the same child who forgets to clear her plate at the dinner table, yet cheerfully wipes up tables and takes lunch orders at work! What’s up with this? Well, first of all the child is now working for someone else and doesn’t take the job/boss for granted as she does Mom/ Dad. Second, this job pays big bucks (at least in the kid’s mind) and it’s just not the same as making the bed or cleaning up the dinner dishes at home!

If you want your child to do better academically during the school year…encourage a job or a volunteer activity during the summer. The responsibility and confidence gleaned from this experience is not only a resume builder, but a life-skills builder. Run; don’t walk, to the mall, movie theater or fast food establishment to help your child apply for a job or volunteer activity this summer. Make sure that the establishment is safe, the expectations are appropriate for your child’s age, and that transportation is convenient.

Hoping that these new “firsts” run smoothly for you and your children, and that this summer leads to great family fun, friendships and neat experiences!

Dr. Ruth Peters is a clinical psychologist and regular contributor to “Today.” For more information you can visit her Web site at www.ruthpeters.com. Copyright ©2007 by Ruth A. Peters, Ph.D. All rights reserved.

PLEASE NOTE: The information in this column should not be construed as providing specific psychological or medical advice, but rather to offer readers information to better understand the lives and health of themselves and their children. It is not intended to provide an alternative to professional treatment or to replace the services of a physician, psychiatrist or psychotherapist.

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