Making a scene at the airport

Early in my career as a flight attendant, I reached that boiling point many times, but it hasn't happened in more than 10 years. The stresses and frustrations have not subsided; in fact, they've gotten worse. So, how do I cope? It goes beyond counting to 10, but that's a good start, so here are 10 tips for keeping your cool when you are about to make a scene at the airport.

1. Walk it off. You know that little voice telling you not to do anything rash? Listen to that voice. The fact is, nothing good can come of the scene you are about to make. If anything, it will make matters much worse. So stand up, turn away from the problem, and go for a walk. Keep walking until you have thought things through.

2. Keep your distance. Don't get involved with someone else's fight, especially if it looks like hostilities might develop. So many people have been arrested when it wasn't their battle in the first place.

3. Get distracted. Bring out the family pictures, turn on your iPod, buy your wife some perfume at the duty-free shop, make a phone call to a calm friend — anything that will remind you what is more important to you.

4. Stretch. You have probably clenched your muscles into a ball, allowing an annoyance to get the better of you. Stretching can increase blood flow and release some of the tension you have built up for yelling at someone. If you see one of those wandering airport massage therapists, get a massage. They are well worth the money.

5. Be heard. If you can talk in a rational voice and tone, and it is an important matter, be sure to speak up. But pick your battles, as some just aren't winnable.

6. Seek better understanding. Always put the shoe on the other foot. Understanding the situation and the motivation of others can put matters in a much clearer perspective.

7. Respect yourself. You know that you are a better person than the one who is about to engage in a yelling match. Ask yourself: "What do I hope to gain by this ordeal? What is the best possible outcome? Am I part of the solution or am I part of the problem?" Answering honestly can lead you to a better course of action.

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8. Don't take everything so personally. If the flight attendants say to sit down when the seat-belt sign comes on, they mean everyone — not just you. There's no personal challenge here. OK, granted, they don't have to be so rude, but that is another subject.

9. Spread forgiveness. If you make a complete ass of yourself and feel bad about your uncharacteristic behavior, apologize immediately. Similarly, instantly accept the apologies of others. Remorse is a heavy burden.

10. Laugh. You could yell, cry, throw a punch or get nasty (all of which I have done at one time or another) or you could just laugh. Chuckle at the absurdities and/or the people involved. It is so much more enjoyable and healthy than the alternatives.

Laughing is the way I get through this life and the motto I try to live by is this: He who laughs, lasts!

James Wysong has worked as a flight attendant with two major international carriers during the past fifteen years. He is the author of the "The Plane Truth: Shift Happens at 35,000 Feet" and "The Air Traveler's Survival Guide." For more information about James or his books, please visit his Web site or e-mail him.

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