Room for a fourth: Who has the right ‘View’?

< Prev | 1 | 2

Television video

‘Modern Family’ stars’ first Globe nods
Dec. 16: Julie Bowen and Ty Burrell are ecstatic over the comedy series nod, and they’ve never experienced the Globes before.

‘Glee’s’ golden year

‘Jersey Shore’ housemates talk punch

Snooki and 'The Situation' visit Conan

Lynch ‘thrilled’ by Globe nomination

Male girlfriends: I thought I was being clever when I originally came up with this category, but real life has caught up with me — “The View” producers are talking about “Sex and the City” star Mario Cantone as a potential new panelist. He’s a chatty one, but if you caught his one-man show on cable, you know that a little Mario goes a long way.

And while we’re on the subject, thumbs down on Ross the Intern, Steven Cojocaru, and any of the “Queer Eye” guys. They’ve all been given ample airtime with which to bore us.

Why not get acerbic author-commentator David Sedaris instead? And during the months he lives in Paris, his anything-goes sister Amy could fill in. Perhaps former “Daily Show” gay Frank DeCaro could make his triumphant return to TV? Or chat show veteran Isaac Mizrahi? Or perhaps actor Alec Mapa or author Augusten Burroughs, both skilled at getting laughs without being eunuch clowns.
Cons: Would a Y chromosome, even attached to a gay guy, violate the spirit of the show? And do gay men need to be further de-sexed in popular culture?
Wild card: Anti-Bush conservative Andrew Sullivan would definitely ruffle a feather or two. Or nine.

Story continues below ↓

advertisement | your ad here

Without a net: Throw all gentility out the window and hire someone who will knock the show on its ear, kick it in the gut, and then pour it a drink. Courtney Love is available. Or maybe former Go-Go Jane Wiedlin, who boldly bared her kinky side on “The Surreal Life.” Lesbian sexpert columnist Susie Bright, take-no-prisoners comic Sarah Silverman … there’s no shortage of fierce troublemakers for the gig.
Cons: Network TV, especially morning TV, just isn’t ready. And it may never be.
Wild card: Can a talented medium contact the ghost of Molly Ivins?

The bottom-line dilemma faced by “The View” crew is that, short of cloning Oprah or offering Paris Hilton live via satellite from the pokey, there’s no Rosie-sized guaranteed ratings juggernaut sitting around waiting to be asked. She was a singular presence, no matter how post-nice she got. So attention to quality and a commitment to creating a new type of chemistry — and not numbers-chasing — will need to rule the day, no matter who winds up filling the seat. But one last thing, just to be clear: No Star Parker. Really.

Alonso Duralde is the author of “101 Must-See Movies for Gay Men” (Alyson Books). Find him at www.alonsoduralde.com.

< Prev | 1 | 2