Room for a fourth: Who has the right ‘View’?

They could go sweet and choose Gayle King, or nasty and pick Kathy Griffin

Peter Kramer / Getty Images for CFDA

Gayle King could bring some much needed sanity to “The View’s” table, but will she draw viewers?

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COMMENTARY

By Alonso Duralde

msnbc.com contributor

updated 7:42 p.m. ET July 8, 2007

Sometimes when you’re shopping for something, it’s helpful to rule out what you don’t want. Especially when you’re not quite sure what it is you do want. And speaking as a semi-regular viewer of ABC’s “The View” — admittedly, I never had much use for the show until the outspoken, volume-intensive Rosie O’Donnell joined the cast last year — I can say exactly what I don’t want as the show shops around for someone to fill Rosie’s shoes: Star Parker.

The firebrand born-again activist and author of right-wing tomes like “Uncle Sam’s Plantation: How the Government Enslaves America’s Poor and What We Can Do About It” sat in the Rosie seat for a few days recently, proving herself to be one the most irritating, interrupting, Bible-bullying guest hosts the show has ever seen. Parker went down as smoothly as thumbtacks in a bowl of Cheerios, so I’m hoping that host and boss-lady Barbara Walters won’t be inviting her back. (You’d think after Barbara’s well-publicized difficulty with Star Jones, any woman named for an astronomical entity would be barred from the program.)

But with no burning ball of gas waiting in the wings, who will take over for the much-missed Rosie? Who will trade quips with Joy Behar and make the veins stand out in the neck of neo-con mommy Elisabeth Hasselbeck (known among bloggers as The Hasselbot)? We haven’t seen this many show business women hungrily circling a job since David O. Selznick was casting “Gone with the Wind.” If Walters and company are smart they’ll think about type first, name second. It might make the bloody process a little less painful.

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Smooth like pudding: You have to wonder if, when Rosie was originally hired, “The View” producers thought they’d be getting the huggable Koosh-balls-and-Broadway Rosie and not the outspoken lesbian-politics-and-Broadway Rosie they got. And while Rosie’s bluntness boosted the show’s ratings, she also caused no shortage of agita behind the scenes. So maybe they’ll want a new host to be sweet, gentle, and soft as an easy chair. Gayle King’s the leader of that pack, but don’t count out the once-controversial Whoopi Goldberg, who’s been nice as pie on her recent “View” appearances.
Cons: If Battlin’ Rosie was a viewer magnet, people aren’t necessarily going to tune in for a genteel ladies’ tea party.
Wild card: Supermodel smarty-turned-writer Veronica Webb, a class act and gorgeous to boot.

Women who will make Elisabeth long for the cold embrace of Rosie: You thought Rosie could raise hackles with her political jibes about the president and the war and the gay-rights movement? Try bringing in Janeane Garofalo. Or Air America’s Rachel Maddow. Or Camille Paglia. Or Margaret Cho. Or even giving a permanent slot to occasional guest host Kathy Griffin. As Rosie proved, another funny lady on the panel puts Joy on her A-game.
Cons: Barbara would prefer to keep her migraines to a minimum this year, thank you.
Wild card: Is Joan Didion available to do TV?