MySpace: A place for candidates

Rep. Dennis Kucinich, Ohio (D)
[Ever changing!]
Age: 60
Star sign: Libra
Friend count: 21,480
Comments: 2,273

Best comment: "You'd win the American Idol for presidential candidates, if there was one!" -- Biff Bifftofferson (Biff totally doesn't get how “American Idol” works.)

Interests: Healthcare, civil liberties, jobs, the war. Yawn.

Other social network memberships:
Flickr
MeetUp
Twitter
YouTube

Dennis went with the MySpace default template, which is smart as MySpace denizens are trained to this format. The white background with navy border is easy on the eye, and the various categories are neatly positioned. And high-tech high five for the “vlog.”

Helen: I’m totally down with the looping video headlines of compelling Kucinich quotes. It’s like watching “Criminal Minds.” But I resent his use of the pan-and-scan photo feature in his bio images. It’s like he’s trying to trick voters into thinking he’s more than, like, 4” tall.

Ree: Heightism! Meanwhile, Dennis totally needs to add more photos of his disproportionately hot wife. That’s one sure way to attract the all important 18-49 dude vote.

***

Sen. Barack Obama, Illinois (D)
“Join the Official Barack Obama MySpace Profile.”
Age: 45
Star sign: Leo
Friend count: 104,619
Comments: 7,140

Best comment: "dude, when you get presidentence ;). you should still keep a myspace profile. that would be cool to put on here what you are doing and stuff if it would be possible.  Peace, TJ" -- TJ

Interests: Graphics and links about himself!

Other social network memberships:
Eventful
Facebook
Flickr
My.BarackObama.com
PartyBuilder
Twitter
YouTube

Barack’s MySpace profile is surprisingly amateurish given the fact that so much energy went into obtaining it from the Barack fan who opened it. Most text is written in unprofessional 12-point Arial font. And much like the older candidates, Barack failed to use the “interest” fields correctly.

Helen: Barack’s headline is a little mind-control creepy, but it must be working. Check out that six-digit friend count! He’s a MySpace rock star! And, according to his profile, straight too.

Ree: Yes, please note the use of “Official” in the headline. This is the MySpace page Barack totally manifest destinied. I could almost see beyond this profile’s mad grab for power if it weren’t for the fact that he’s also created his own social network: My.BarackObama.com! He’s taking over faster than Google! How long until he’s offering us Campaign ads tailored to our browsing habits? Frankly, I’m a little scared.

***

Gov. Bill Richardson, New Mexico (D)
“The Official Gov. Bill Richardson for President MySpace Page”
Age: 59
Star sign: Scorpio
Friend count: 17,107
Comments: 1,134

Best comment: “ll vote 4 u anytime i hope u win!!!u have done 4 me a great job u helped me by helping me in my education and ill get a job cause u have better laws here not like in other states they have weird laws!!!!!!well hope u win!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!and remember of me when u win!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!thankz for everything!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” -- I_SK8_TILL_I_DIE

Interests: [None, apparently.]

Other social network memberships*:
Facebook
Flickr
PartyBuilder
YouTube

The clown prince of candidates, Bill has a very basic MySpace profile with clear cut categories for his copious accomplishments. There’s an unused blog area (wasted space) and an extensive “About me” post, which is disconcertingly written in the third person. On the plus side, Bill includes videos of his very funny campaign commercials, though you must scroll, like a jillion miles, past the “About me” field to find it. 

Helen: Along with his “straight” orientation, Bill includes his height under “body type.” Obviously it’s an intimidation tactic against his fellow candidates, as he’s a towering 6”2.’ In your face, Kucinich!

Ree: A campaign donation link is the only thing listed in his “Who I’d most like to meet” field. Apparently he’d most like to me a fistful of dead presidents. Still, he obviously appreciates everyone, including the first guy on his MySpace friends list — Tom, the MySpace default.

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