Tough love can help that grown child get a job

My 20-year son desires to have a career in the music business. He obtained an associates degree in recording arts from a very reputable school. In order to do that, we had to take out about $50,000 of student loans, which my son is trying to pay back.

As anyone can imagine, getting a start in the music industry is not easy. We live in southwest Florida and my son specializes in rap/hip hop. There is not much opportunity here for him even though he has diverse skills: He makes beats, writes lyrics, produces for other artists and is a performing artist himself. We've been told that talent doesn't really matter — it's whom you know.

My son is Joe Lopez aka Psycho Joe. (Yes, I am serious.) When he was interviewed once, the interviewer asked him where the Psycho came from and he said it was because he was "crazy on the mic."

Any suggestions for a young man (who is hard-working and talented) that doesn't have a clear direction of how to get where he wants to be?
— Yvette Surita-Lopez, Fort Myers, Fla.

OK Yvette, you sound like a sweetheart and very open-minded. Not every parent would be helping a son who wants to be called Psycho Joe find his dream job in music.

But Psycho needs to bring some of that psycho energy into his job search. Hanging out in Fort Myers, Fla., is not going to get him into the music world. This rap/hip hop dude needs to get his butt to Los Angeles, or if he’s too scared to go all the way across country, he should at least take a bus to Miami. Where’s the scene? Where are the jobs? He needs to do his research and figure that out.

If he’s really committed to music, says Bingham, he’ll take a job as an errand boy or answering phones for a record label or other music company to help him get his foot in the door. Sometimes you have to pay some dues in order to make it, and the entertainment industry is notorious for that.

If he’s having trouble taking that first step, she suggests you pay for a career counselor if he doesn’t have the cash to pay for it himself.

There may be other opportunities in music he’s not thinking about. There may be jobs to write music or come up with beats for Web development firms that create web sites for companies.

But a career counselor, or some cash to help him for a few months when he makes his trek to L.A. or elsewhere, should be the extent of your career help.

“She really needs to let him be an adult,” Bingham advises.

And let’s say he goes out and falls flat on his face and is back on your doorsteps four months later. Then, it’s time to have a different conversation with your son, Bingham adds. “We all have dreams, but maybe the music industry is not for you. Let’s look at what your other options are out there to meet other passions.”

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