Mommy wars: How much are they worth?

Welcome to the mommy wars, nuclear style.

An MSNBC.com story estimating the salary value of being a stay-at-home mom — $138,095 — prompted a heated discussion on the merits of staying at home with kids versus also working outside the home.

While many women on both sides of the fence weighed in, quite a few men — including stay-at-home dads — had passionate opinions on the topic as well.

Here are some excerpts:

No dollar value to staying at home
Stay-at-home moms should stop comparing their daily activities to compensable activities. Those women chose to have children, and chose to stay home. Staying home is worth $0.00. That is why so many other mothers go to work and earn money, in addition to their chosen motherly responsibilities. There are essential responsibilities in life, and those that come along with motherhood are among them. Because I put my clothes on every morning should I be paid like a fashion model? Because I drive my car should I be paid like Dale Earnhardt, Jr.?

If you chose to be a mother and chose to stay home, you chose to accept the fact that your actions are not worth any money. However, money is not the only measure of value. Of course, though, capitalist America has to turn something as natural as motherhood into a financial statement.
— James1976

Staying at home a luxury
My wife is a stay-at-home mom. ... Stay-at-home parenting is a wonderful luxury, and it's a shame that it's a luxury today. I think that what it's worth is far beyond the measure of dollars, and turning it into a list of "jobs" cheapens and demeans the real work that my wife and I put in to raising our children, which is the work of preparing them to be productive, happy, fulfilled people. There's no dollar value on that.
— Jimm54906

Working parents do two jobs
I am a working, single mother. I get my child ready for school, get him breakfast and get him there. I spend the day doing my job. Then I go home. I plan and prepare meals. I launder clothing, make beds, clean toilets, stitch up ripped pants, care for my child when he's sick, ensure that he completes his homework, participate in parent-teacher conferences and attend school functions, chauffeur to sports and music lessons, plan weekend entertainment, manage my household finances, arrange for car maintenance, fix small appliances, move furniture and decorate for the holidays.

So how much of all that stuff is “extra,”deserving of special, separate note that might be due a salary if I were to perform the work for someone else? All of it is, of course — if I were doing that work for someone else.

But here's the catch: You don't charge to paint your own toenails, so it's ridiculous to say I'm due $45 because I gave myself a pedicure. It's equally absurd to say I'm due $130,000 for the work I do to raise my child and run my household.
— HLA003

No choice but to stay at home
Let me first say that basing this story off of a stay-at-home mom is wrong — clearly it should be written as a stay-at-home parent.  I have been a stay-at-home dad now for three years. I have 3-year-old twin girls that I raise and it is not by choice as some have said here.

With the cost of daycare and the rise in gas prices, it is not possible for me to work because I would be losing money. People need to open their eyes and see that not all people who stay at home with their children are doing so because they have a choice, and the fact that stay-at-home fathers are out there, too.
— Icecreamman

Staying at home undervalued
We made a decision as a family for me to be a stay-at-home parent. ...  I do not expect to be paid for what I do, but I definitely think that this choice is underappreciated. If what I do is worth $0.00 then someone tell me why I should bother to have life insurance on myself?  ...  I think the point of this article was to illustrate quite simply that stay-at-home parents are in fact extremely underappreciated and undervalued for what they do. 
— shannont79

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