Every ‘American Idol’ has a story

Thanks to this week’s sort-of surprise non-elimination episode of “American Idol,” viewers are going to have one more week of this year’s top six performers. But after watching them on our screens for what seems like forever (has it really only been six weeks since watchers last pondered the fate of Sundance Head?), how much does the audience know about them, really? There's no backstage footage the way there is on a show like “Rock Star” to tell viewers what the singers are like when the music’s over.

The fact that “Idol” spends so little time thoroughly delving into the personalities of its cast is actually something of a rarity on reality television, which thrives on generating dramatic arcs for its players to navigate. “Idol” prefers spectacle instead. But for the devoted viewer, there are bits and pieces of a storyline for each contestant that sneak through.

Phil Stacey: Gee, Mrs. Cleaver, that’d be swell
At Phil Stacey's audition, judge Simon Cowell bluntly asked the singer which was more important: “Idol” or the daughter whose birth he was missing at that very moment. Phil responded, “Sorry, man, the baby.” It was an auspicious moment in his “Idol” career, as it marked the very last time he failed to take advantage of an opportunity to suck up.

And boy, does Phil suck up. Quite possibly the most obsequious contestant in “Idol” history, he has worked hard to worm his way into the graces of the judges, the mentors, Ryan and the viewers at home. It's a little like watching Eddie Haskell dipped in Neet.

When Ryan gave him the viewer-mail treatment during Gwen Stefani week, Phil immediately looked directly into the camera and chirped “Great question!” A Navy man, he’s also invoked his military service and 9/11, and for someone more calculating, it would simply be pandering. From Phil, it’s nothing more than the glad-handing moves of a guy who feels really, really blessed to be here. Really. He said so himself.

LaKisha Jones: I’m sorry, I couldn’t hear you over all that me
Quick: think of Jennifer Holliday, Gladys Knight, Carrie Underwood, Fantasia Barrino, Gloria Estefan, Billie Holiday and Donna Summer. Now think of the very first song that comes to mind for each of these singers. You’ve just come up with Lakisha’s set list.

Almost without fail, she picks not only iconic singers (both inside and outside the “Idol” universe) but their signature songs. The result is that LaKisha has painted herself as the most unimaginative contestant of the season.

That’s been playing out weekly during the pre-performance mentor clips, where Lakisha consistently and unceremoniously ignores the suggestions of singers more famous and successful than she is. When Tony Bennett, a man whose singing career began over two Lakishas ago, told her to nix an unnecessary tag to the end of “Stormy Weather,” her entire performance became a waiting game: would she follow the advice or ignore it like all the others? That she paid no attention to the funny old man with decades of experience came as no surprise. She probably can’t hear any of the mentors over all the belting, anyway.

Chris Richardson: Maybe Sudafed would help
The show has been working overtime to convince viewers that Chris Richardson looks and sounds like Justin Timberlake. Which is true, if by “look alike” you mean that their basic hair formations are identical and by “sound alike” you mean you’ve never, ever heard Timberlake sing even once. But the conditioning seems to have worked, to the point where folks subjected to Ryan’s man-in-the-street interviews had a hard time remembering a contestant by his name until JT was mentioned.

Weirdly, Chris has actually been drained of personality as the show goes on. He started with a rhythmically twitchy performance style, a voice that seemed to reside deep within his nasal cavity and a proud (and very red) father cheering him on.

But only the nasality survives alongside a general good-guy demeanor that was recently jeopardized when he snapped at Simon Cowell for calling his tone into question. That was likely just a stressed reaction to recent events in his home state of Virginia, but talking back to the judges is never a good idea unless your name is Sanjaya.

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