And this one time ... at guitar camp ...

Most of the students who attend weekends at the camp stay in small cabins that accommodate two people and are heated in winter and air-conditioned in summer. There isn’t much room to have pillow fights or play “Twister,” but they’re fine for sleeping. Campers spend little time there anyway; most play guitar either inside the larger cabins where classes are held, or out on the long front porches. Showers and toilets are situated in a separate building a short walk away from the cabins.

For those who would rather stay elsewhere, the camp offers a list of local hotels and motels, most of which are only 15 to 20 minutes away. I stayed in nearby Athens at the Ohio University Inn, about 15 minutes up Route 33, and it was no trouble at all, although newcomers might miss the highway turnoff the first time through, as I did.

It should also be noted that there is a strict policy forbidding drugs, alcohol and guns. Yes, guns. Apparently the state of Ohio has a law that allows citizens to pack heat, but the Ranch has signs posted countermanding that order within its confines.

The food is tasty and there’s plenty of it. Students are summoned by a member of the kitchen crew blowing loudly into a conch shell. Usually there is a continental breakfast, with fruit, muffins, bagels and lox. Lunches feature lots of salad along with an entrée, usually chili or a hamburger. Dinners can be anything from roast chicken to pasta to steak, with lots of sides. And there are usually snacks laying around all day for those with insatiable sweet teeth along with coffee and tea.

Students who stay on the premises at Fur Peace Ranch sleep inside cabins like these, which accommodate two people snugly. There is a separate facility that has showers and toilets a short walk from the cabins.

Weather can be an issue. The early March weekend prior to mine saw temperatures around 70. Jorma told me he was riding his motorcycle only a few days earlier. But when I arrived, so did Jack Frost, with temperaturess plummeting into the 30s. It didn’t put a crimp in the weekend at all. The only drawback involves the setting. The camp extends for acres beyond the cabins, and it’s the kind of picturesque country serenity ripe for sitting on a bench along a leafy trail and picking a guitar. It’s just a little difficult to do so when you have to keep warming your fingers.

But you may not have much of a choice. Classes are announced in the fall and they fill up fast. The class you desire may not be offered in the relative warmth of June, or you may have to take your second choice in March or October. The Fur Peace Ranch also occasionally has special weekends, such as one for couples and another for motorcycle enthusiasts.

The staff is comprised of folks who remember your name throughout the weekend.  John Hurlbut, the camp manager, is particularly accommodating. He does just about everything — from taking tickets at the Saturday night concerts to slinging mashed potatoes and veggies at dinner — and does so with a smile. I even asked if he could do something about the weather, and sure enough on Sunday morning it cleared up. Jorma’s wife Vanessa, who runs the operation as CEO, usually is around during camp weekends, but on my stay she was away in China to pick up a baby the couple is adopting.

Thunder Mike Coyne runs the company store, where students can purchase T-shirts, sweatshirts, caps and other apparel as well as many other types of souvenirs with the camp logo on it. There is also a bookcase with rare blues and folk recordings for sale, along with racks of instructional videos.

In one of the larger cabins — the only two-story edifice on the premises — the downstairs is split between classroom space and the company store, which was probably the second most-popular venue besides the dining hall on my weekend. Lots of students milled about in there all weekend, buying souvenirs as well as instructional videos and rare blues and country CDs; Thunder Mike Coyne keeps a running tab for each student, and then everyone settles up on Monday. Upstairs consists of a library that has lots of music-related books and videos for students to peruse during down time.

Naturally, the focus of the weekend is guitar. From an instructional standpoint, it’s an intensive, and one of my worries was whether I could digest all the information thrown at me and be able to use it later. That’s where copious notes come in, along with handouts that Happy and other teachers provide. But it’s also helpful to bring a good audio recorder with you (video recorders are not allowed). I made the mistake of bringing a cheap digital hand-held audio recorder, and it filled up way too quickly.

It also helped greatly to have generous classmates. Everybody was easy going about sharing what they knew, and offering help or advice when I didn’t understand something, which was often. All in all, I think I left the place a little smarter about the guitar than when I arrived, and a lot more aware of how much more practice I needed to put in.

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Just a note about the guitars themselves: Most people bring their own, but the camp does have a couple to rent. Since I was flying from Los Angeles and changing planes, I found renting to be the easier way to go this time. Most students drove to camp from places in the East, and brought their own guitars, many of which were Martins, Taylors and other top-notch brands (these are serious players, folks). For those who didn’t drive, some airlines allow passengers to carry on guitars and some don’t. In case you get to the gate and are told you have to check your guitar, make sure to have it in a secure hard case that can handle the challenges presented by airline baggage handlers. There is also UPS, although that can get costly. Make sure and inquire about your guitar transport options before finalizing your plans.

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Before I left on Monday to head back to the Columbus airport, where I would be pulled aside and lectured by an overzealous security drone about which toiletries needed to be put in a plastic baggie and which didn’t, there was a half-day session of breakfast, followed by a one-hour class that served as a review session. Then I said good-byes to teachers, staff and fellow campers, which was as sad as it was leaving camp as a kid, but also pleasurable knowing that if I practice enough they might actually allow me to return.

Maybe someday I might even be able to fingerpick “Kumbaya.”

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