Can Cyrus cha-cha? Can Ratzenberger rumba?
Sizing up this season's ‘Dancing With the Stars’ participants
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If you’ve shopped for sequins, self-tanner, or sparkle pants recently, you know that supplies are shrinking, and that can mean only one thing: another season of “
Expectations are high after last season, in which unctuous smoothie Mario Lopez was ultimately outdone by sunny underdog Emmitt Smith. It also included several metaphorical tangos of intrigue, from reported romances between celebrities and their partners to the abrupt exit of Sara Evans during her publicity-soaked divorce proceedings.
Not eager to see Fox parading around with “Dancing’s” head on a spike, ABC wisely moved the performance shows from Tuesday to Monday for this season, avoiding the behemoth that is “
The key will be, as it always is, the cast. Favorites are notoriously difficult to find — few would have picked Emmitt Smith as the heir apparent to Drew Lachey — but smart viewers can dig up a few clues about what might be coming.
Boxer Laila Ali (daughter of Muhammad Ali, of course) has a few things going for her beyond a gender-unusual sports profile and a famous name. Evander Holyfield aside, athletes tend to do reasonably well on this show, not only because they score better than average for agility and balance, but because they have discipline. Ali is beautiful, which never hurts in a popularity contest, and she’s paired with Maksim Chmerkovskiy, the professional dancer with the most squealingly devoted fan base. Maks seems due to make a run, and this might be his chance.
Billy Ray Cyrus now appears on “Hannah Montana,” and he has the advantage of the country appeal that carried Sara Evans last season. That dynamic might actually make up for the enemies he should rightfully have as a result of his infliction upon the world of “Achy Breaky Heart.” Prediction: It will not take judge Bruno Tonioli long to make a very ugly “Achy Breaky” joke.
There has to be a large-framed retired male athlete in every season, and this season’s is Clyde Drexler. “The Glide” may or may not be as graceful dancing as he was playing basketball, but like country-music fans, professional sports fans have proved to be a very valuable group to have on your side, at least in the case of football players. Whether NBA fans are as loyal remains to be seen.
It seems odd that Joey Fatone still lists his profession as “NSync Star,” since the band made its last album in 2001. Nevertheless, the “former teen idol and/or boy-band member” spot has to be filled by someone, and even if you’re “the less cute one,” it might as well be you. While Fatone probably can’t get Justin Timberlake to hoot for him in the audience, don’t be surprised if you see Lance Bass. Nostalgia acts in general and boy-band members in particular have strong track records, so don’t count Fatone out.
Every season needs a lovely blonde. Not only was Shandi Finnessey Miss USA 2004, but she co-hosts “Lingo” on the Game Show Network, so that’s two reasons you’ve probably never heard of her. Her semi-obscurity gives Finnessey one interesting quality, which is that she will rise and fall based on her actual ability. Will she be season two’s high-flying Stacy Keibler, or will she be season three’s almost invisible Shanna Moakler? Finnessey has every opportunity to bootstrap herself into contention, but nothing to coast on if she doesn’t come out of the gate strong.
Leeza Gibbons seems to have been around since the entertainment industry was invented, and she’s enormously familiar to precisely the same audience that watches this show. Paired with Tony Dovolani, who lucked out with Keibler in the second season and bombed out with Evans in the third, Leeza seems likely to slide into that Giselle Fernandez role where everyone would really like to see her do well, precisely because she’s not 22 years old or a recent beauty-pageant winner.
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