This just in: Hilton a hard habit to break

In journalism school, there are some lessons that are easily absorbed, and others that require a period of time to marinate. Among the ones I grasped almost immediately included bringing a notebook with me on interviews instead of scribbling on a cocktail napkin or a menu, using the word “alleged” to describe a suspect until the guilty-as-sin lowlife was convicted, and ending all stories with the now-archaic “30” as opposed to affixing the more conventional “The End” so confused readers will know it’s journalism and not a fairy tale.

But when it came to news judgment, I quickly realized that I was on my own, as evidenced by the way my journalism professors would shrug whenever I posed an example. I recall being perturbed, unsure if my instructors were being coy or clueless. Here I was spending thousands on a college education and I couldn’t get a straight answer when it came to what was news and what wasn’t. All I received were blank stares and mutterings of “What do you think?” to which I would reply with an under-my-breath “If I knew, why the &%$!! would I ask you?”

This age-old dilemma arose anew this week when the Associated Press announced that it was issuing a ban on all stories about Paris Hilton. To use a sports analogy, AP people are the offensive linemen of journalism. They toil in relative obscurity, yet their work is essential. They get almost no credit, and yet so many others are dependent upon their efforts. They also often spend time in a semi-crouch position with one hand on the ground, but whereas linemen do so by design, AP reporters and editors end up that way as the result of too many Paris Hilton stories.

As it turns out, the AP ban lasted only a week or so. It was more of an experiment than an etched-in-stone policy. The AP wanted to see if it could exist without the ubiquitous no-talent birdbrain gracing its wire copy. And this prohibition was done with a sense of humor, although when I think of the AP editors I’ve known over the years I’m assuming the news service had to contract out to find somebody who had one.

But just like the Petri dishes that were my journalism classes, this presents a larger issue: What is news?

Here we go again.

For the purposes of this discussion, I would like to think of the Associated Press as a person. Specifically, the AP is a somewhat tall, overweight, middle-aged man with glasses and an ill-fitting suit that he bought off the rack. He likes to go around to the corner bar at lunchtime for a couple of martinis, which he expenses. He’s got a photo on his desk of a wife and two kids, even if they aren’t his. And he loves journalism with all his heart, even though he hasn’t written a story since his sophomore year.

Frankly, I prefer that AP be a rich, attractive, uninhibited young woman, but I was afraid that might color my judgment on this topic.

MORE FROM CELEBRITIES

Celebrities Section Front

Celine Dion will keep trying to have a baby J.Lo’s ex blocked from selling alleged sex tape Jackson’s private funeral cost nearly $1 million Judge: Joe Jackson can’t challenge executors Arrest warrant dropped for Quaids in hotel case Source: Julianne Hough, Chuck Wicks split up Mutual of Omaha settles suit against Winfrey Lawyer: Woods’ brother did not get proper care Justin Timberlake granted restraining order Mayer chimes in on Britney lip-sync hubbub Celebrities Section Front   Add Celebrities headlines to your news reader: