The battle for her body

When the battle over custody of Anna Nicole Smith’s body resumed on Thursday, ex-boyfriend Larry Birkhead was back on the stand—and the judge was back in the spotlight.

Judge Seidlin, sounding at times like a family therapist, opened the proceedings with a lengthy ramble, speculating  about Anna Nicole’s tangled relationships with the people and the drugs in her life.

Judge Seidlin: She stays away from mother, because mama is not gonna like her taking over-medicated drugs.  We got Larry who now tells her because she’s pregnant and he’s concerned about the health and welfare of the baby to be born and Larry tells her not to do drugs.

Then he turned to the role played by her long-time companion, Howard k. Stern.

Judge: Is he a bad guy? Or is he a fellow who has some form of a love for her? Whatever relationship he had with her, he would be called maybe an enabler.

At that, Stern’s attorney rose to object, but the judge wasn’t finished dispensing pearls.

Judge: Anna didn’t really realize that life is a rollercoaster, as we all know. It got its ups, its got its down but you gotta hold on tight, you gotta hope tomorrow is a better day.

Dan Abrams, NBC legal correspondent: It became just like a dysfunctional group therapy session ... ...where there’s this sort of Bronx version of Dr. Phil sitting on the bench. And you have all of these characters going after each other.  And the Bronx Dr. Phil occasionally chiming in something, some tough love...

Judge: I’m stating that these folks may not be bad. Where they may not be living a perfect life but that’s for other people to decide.

The judge finally ceded the spotlight to ex-boyfriend Larry Birkhead.

Once again Birkhead testified about a pregnant Anna Nicole’s drug habit and his attempts to help her.

Birkhead: At times I took her medicine and I was told by Mr. Stern to give it back because she needed it to live. I told her over and over, I said “Don’t. Something’s gonna happen to you ....” (crying) You don’t know how many times I had to help her and to carry her back and forth to make sure she was okay. Sometimes I didn’t know if she was gonna live and they kept bringing more drugs in the house.

It was the stuff of soap operas. But was it relevant? 

Susan Filan, MSNBC senior legal analyst: Larry Birkhead didn’t have a dog in the fight as to where she should be buried.  But he comes in—if you’re going to look at what was her intent what were her wishes, what did she want to have happen to her when she died.

As the day wore on, the spectacle in Judge Seidlin’s courtroom became increasingly wacky.

Judge: California listen to me. Do you remember the song “California dreamin'...” I always consider myself a New Yorker

At one point, attorney Debra Opri, or as the judge liked to call her “California,” even broke into song.

Michelle Kosinski, NBC correspondent covering the case: It was one of those incidents where everyone looks at each other and says “Can you believe this?”

The morning session came to abrupt end when an attorney for Anna Nicole’s mom, John O'Quinn collapsed..

Judge: I’m gonna take a break. I’m working everyone too hard. You all right?  Take it easy. Give him some water my Texas friend.  Here’s my credit card just buy him an orange juice. No I’ll do it. I always pay. We’re gonna take a break but get him orange juice right now.

When the session resumed,  observers were in for a whole new shock.

Judge Seidlin  allowed the admission of a 51-second videotape featuring a face-painted and seemingly impaired Anna Nicole at a party. She was eight months pregnant at the time. The narrator: Howard K. Stern.

Kosinski: And to see her face painted and hear her talking almost like a child herself, it was heartbreaking to many of the people who saw this.

It was played during the testimony of Ford Shelly, a friend of Anna Nicole’s who provided the Bahamas house she shared with Stern.

Shelly, whose young daughter was at the party where the tape was made, punctuated his testimony by railing at Howard K. Stern. Despite that, Shelly reluctantly supported Stern’s argument that Anna Nicole wanted to buried in the Bahamas.

Shelly: Anna said where she wanted to be buried, and that was beside her son. I know that Howard is representing what she wants. That is representing what she wants.

And, even when veteran courtroom observers thought the hearing could not get any more bizarre, Judge Seidlin was swearing in the next witness on the phone. 

Billy Smith, ex-husband of Anna Nicole and father of their late son Daniel:

Judge: Billy. How do I know who you are?

Billy Smith: I’m Billy Smith believe me

Judge: Are you wearing boots today?

The feeble humor and telephone testimony was interrupted by one lawyer, who may have spoken for the entire legal profession:

Judge: And you object to the identity of the father?

Attorney: I object to everything on every possible grounds under the sun. That he’s not here in person.

Judge: I’m with 'ya.

Objection overruled, it was back to Billy Smith who hadn’t seen his boy in 20 years.

Judge: Billy do you know if your boy is presently buried in the country of the Bahamas?

Billy: Yes I do. I wish that he was buried in the Texas.

Judge:  So what should I do with his body?  If I was a judge who had jurisdiction over this over that boy’s body—

Smith: I just wish they could be buried side by side.

Judge: The mother and the son.

Billy: Yes. Yes.

With that, the ringmaster of the Anna Nicole courtroom circus had heard enough.  He announced he was ready to rule… almost.

Judge: I feel for all parties here. I mean I suffer with this case day and night. When I pronounce the final resolution in this case, I want you to understand that I have reviewed absolutely everything. I have suffered with this, I have struggled with this, I have shed tears for your, your little girl. [judge crying] But what worries me, and I’m not letting the cat out of the bag, but what worries me is the boy.  Danny already is in the grave.  He’s in the Bahamas, it could have been San Francisco it could have been the Bronx. I’m trying to figure out how in a spiritual sense bring it all together. Now the Supreme Court of Florida says justice in not perfect [judge crying] it’s ..huh.. (long pause). It’s what is reasonable.

Abrams: There is no question that judges throughout the state of Florida were covering their eyes as they watched Judge Larry in court.

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