Attacker's apology revives a victim's nightmare

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Hurt again
Seccuro was in for another shock. She began receiving critical e-mails and letters, many from Christians condemning her for pressing charges, admonishing her to forgive.

But she HAD forgiven Beebe. Couldn’t she forgive and still want justice?

Her panic attacks returned. Some friends stopped calling. She suffered a miscarriage while nervously awaiting Beebe’s arrest.

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Any leftover energy went to Ava, not her husband. Despite his efforts to understand, her experience remained alien to him.

It seemed Beebe was hurting her again.

And could she forgive him for that?

‘Guilty as charged’
On April 17, Beebe was indicted on two felony counts: rape and object sexual penetration.

Seven months later, he stood before the judge.

“Guilty as charged,” he said calmly.

But he was pleading guilty to a lesser charge of aggravated sexual battery; the other charges had been dropped. The prosecution’s recommended sentence: two years in prison.

Why had they agreed to a plea?

Then the prosecutor dropped the bombshell: Investigators believed Seccuro was gang raped.

Seccuro had long suspected it. And prosecutors knew Beebe’s cooperation could be key in bringing other possible attackers to justice.

Outside the courthouse, Beebe finally spoke.

“Twenty-two years ago, I harmed another person,” he said. “And I have tried to set that right.”

Forgiveness is not simple
The investigation into the events of that night continues. Beebe’s cooperation with authorities will be a consideration when he is sentenced March 15. He remains free on bond and has been ordered to continue attending AA meetings.

Seccuro launched a donor fund called STARS — Sisters Together Assisting Rape Survivors — to raise money for rape victims and their families.

Some still tell her to accept Beebe’s apology and move on. Forgiveness, however, isn’t so simple, she says. She has forgiven Beebe for attacking her, and for disrupting her life. But she sometimes struggles to remain merciful.

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She does not forgive those who knew about or witnessed the events of that night and have remained silent. Nor does she forgive the university.

But to Seccuro, forgiveness was never the issue. To her, it’s very simple.

The apology was for him. Justice is for her.

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