A calendar for your sanity

Our world today is so fast-paced and demanding that most of us find it nearly impossible to escape and wind down — even for a few short minutes. In her new book "Sanity Savers:Tips for Women to Live a Balanced Life," psychologist  Dale V. Atkins offers 52 weeks of  daily tips, thoughts and suggestions to help you restore balance, order and happiness to your life. Atkins, the creator and host of television's "Dr. Dale's Life Issues," was invited on TODAY to discuss the book.

Here is an excerpt:

Monday

Well-Being

A “New” New Year’s Resolution

New Year’s resolutions are often about committing to an exercise program, losing those extra twenty pounds, or quitting the smoking habit. While all of these are likely to be terrific for your health, offer great promise, and are made with the hope that your life will be better, the funny thing is that often our New Year’s resolutions from one year to the next are exactly the same.

Ring in this New Year by changing your attitude about something or someone (including yourself). So often our attitudes remain unchanged and unchallenged and we become stale in our outlook. Take a refreshing approach and question whether your perception serves you well or restricts you, holding you back.

How many times have your own or other people’s opinions prevented you from doing or trying something? “I always wanted to go skydiving but my friends will think I’m crazy.” “I would like to take an art class but I can’t draw.” “I would like to learn to play the piano but I was never very good at it when I was a kid.” “I would like to travel but I don’t have a companion.” “I would like to dance but don’t have a partner.”

•   No Challenge, No Change. If you don’t give yourself a challenge, there can be no change, and without change, there is no growth. Ask yourself, “How can I be continually challenged?”

•   Meet People Who Are Different from You. Step out and don’t limit yourself to your usual group (age, culture, race). Find people with similar interests but from different backgrounds. Meet and be with people who are both younger and older than you. Learn from their experiences.

•   Be Conscious and Present. By being fully aware, we can accept, reject, or change that which we don’t want into something that can be helpful and productive.

•   Be Eager for Personal Growth. Seek knowledge, adventure, and friendship. Do not confine yourself to a familiar road, traveling along paths others have gone or mapped out for you. Leave the familiar path from time to time. Be adventurous. Find your element; never stop searching. Continue your quest in life. It is all about growth!

By changing your attitude you can try things you thought you were “unable” to do and have experiences that will open your mind to incredible possibilities.

Tuesday

Friends

Maintaining Friendships When You Are in Different Life Circumstances

You are a longtime single woman and your best friend is married with three children. Or you’re divorced and your college roommate is about to get married.

Whatever the circumstance, it is easy to believe that you no longer have anything in common. Just because what is so important to one hasn’t crossed the radar screen of the other doesn’t mean the friendship is over. Some of the best friendships are enhanced when both watch, learn, and appreciate what is happening in the other’s life. Friendships can grow from the foundation of a shared background, similar values, being yourself, and good laughs rather than solely from similar experiences.

•   Make Room for Differences. Try not to fall prey to adult cliques and being exclusive with certain types of people. Think twice about joining the private club of “only moms with young kids” and letting go of your friends who don’t have children. Why not say yes to a family barbecue at your girlfriend’s house if you are single? Even though you think your working friend just doesn’t have a clue about what it’s like to be an at---home mom, give the relationship a chance to absorb your different lifestyles. Evaluate whether you can rearrange your friendship for now (and now can be a few years) and stay in touch, relate, and connect. Friendships ebb and flow with life circumstances. Who knows, your single friend might be a midlife mom one day, and if the bond is maintained, you might be the person she’ll seek for support and guidance.

•   Don’t Assume There’s Nothing in Common. Not having life experiences in common doesn’t have to mean there’s disinterest. When you spend time with your friend, pay attention to what you talk about and what you don’t talk about and why. Are you hiding the issues you have with your children because she doesn’t have any and wants them? Do you know for sure that she is uncomfortable hearing you talk about your kids’ school, or is it possible that she gets a kick from being close to your children as a surrogate aunt? Many women who do not have children love to be with their friends’ kids and can develop unique relationships with them, which benefit everyone. Address the differences as well as the similarities that still remain intact.

•   Live Vicariously. Ask about your friend’s life and realize that your differences can allow for a closeness that is not possible when there is similarity. Enjoying your friend’s single life when you are dealing with moody kids and a cranky husband can give you a moment of escape. You might giggle together over her “courting” stories and have fun helping your girlfriend select an outfit for her next blind date. Talking with her about what she is experiencing is something that can make both of your lives full.

Don’t write friends off just because their life path is different from yours.

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