Trading Places: Personal stories from viewers

I am taking care of my Dad who turned 84 this year along with the help of my daughter (age 29) and grandson (age 8). My parents did so much for me and my children over the years as I was a single parent and this is my way of giving back. I have to work full time and my dad does not have much money which makes things very difficult. It is not an option to put him into a nursing home. I find it very stressful being at work and worrying about everyone at home and being at home after an exhausting day at work. It has come to the point where he cannot be left alone for any length of time as it is not safe. Being a middle income household places him in a position of not being able to tap into community resources because of his income level. We are finding it difficult to be able to go places and do things with my grandson because we have no one to stay with dad. It would be nice if you could do a series on options for those of us stuck in the middle. I love my dad and I know I will never have any regrets or guilt feelings that I didn't do for him after all he has done for me over the years. --Jill Bryant, Allison Park, PA (submitted on Feb. 13, 2007)

My parents fortunatly have enought money to take care of their elder needs. My 80 year old father died in 2004, and my mother who is 81, is still in her own home being taken care of by the Jamacian Angels. Jamacian Angels - there is a team of four who take care of my mother 24/7 and if it wern't for them, my two brothers and I would not know what to do. The Jamacian love, kindness, and patience is beyond what I would expect of from our home health care angels. Some day I will visit Jamaca and see what it's all about. Their upbringing, family dedication, and love of God is a reflection of the wonderful care that they have provided for my father and mother. It passes on to me and my brothers giving us peace of mind and that wonderful feeling knowing that our mother and father were, and still are, being blessed by their care. --Deedee Cheek, Cape Coral, FL (submitted on Feb. 13, 2007)

I share my guilt puttting my mother in a nursing home because her needed care was past assisted living-we pay private pay for the care-however it is better care than we could find her in her home-She is safe-She has routine-She has activities-She has proper medical care-It breaks my heart to visit-seeing a woman so independent and intellegent, not remembering her own name and not remembering her now only child-I have lost my Dad, my Brother,and recently my Son and now I watch my Mother struggle- --Donne-lynn Winslow, Warrensburg, NY (submitted on Feb. 13, 2007)

We lost all four of our parents within 36 months. Our mothers needed to be in assisted living - and our fathers were fortunate enough to be active until they last few weeks of their lives. We were fortunate to be able to care for all of them financially during the last five years of their lives. The transition from being parent/child to child/parent had its awkward moments - and difficult decisions need to be made. However - with all of the expence - with all of the travel time to be with them - with all of the anxiety of worrying about their care -all of it was worth the effort and more. We were so touched by Brian Williams story about his dad. This is our story . . . I wish we could have had them longer. --Randy Vader, Anderson, IN (submitted on Feb. 13, 2007)

I loved your segment tonight about Visiting Angels. My grandmother is a client of theirs too. She is 96.5 years old, lives in her home she was born in here in Westminster, Maryland. She has caregivers 12 hours a day from Visiting Angels. My mom and dad cannot care for her in their home, so they got the Angels to care for her. They had to sell part of her farm to pay for the care but it's worth it. This care is expensive and like in the segment unfortunately, unless you have long-term care insurance, regular insurance will not cover it, and that I believe should be changed. There is a gap for care like this for older folks. My husband and I are in our 40's and work full time and my parents are in their early 70's and in good health but not able to care for my grandmother 24/7. She has a colostomy and has dementia now. She uses a walker and gets up every day and watches TV. She loves to play spin the channel. But she can still tell you stories of back in her younger days of my grandfather and things they did. She smiles when you get out the pictures to help her remember. The Angels do that with her. We are happy that she's in her home she loves and we are grateful for Visiting Angels. She likes the ladies that come and they are so good to her. Thank you for having them aired on your program tonight. It made me smile. We feel we are doing right by my grandmother and will keep her home with the care from Visiting Angels as long as we can. Thank you. --Anonymous , Westminster, MD (submitted on Feb. 13, 2007)

Hello From Cincinnati I consider myself VERY fortunate. I am the oldest of three children. We (my mother, father and the three children) emmigrated to the U.S. more than fifty years ago. My father retired about 15 years ago. My parents had many choices about where to retire but decided to live in a community associated with a local hospital about 20 miles north of the Queen City. They live independently. One thing my parents have always insisted on was to never be a burden to their children and they have done just that. They run their own lives and do as they please. They planned, planned, planned. As my father was in the process of retiring (he was a pediatric surgeon), he was diagnosed with multiple myloma, cancer of the bone marrow. Even this did not upset their plans to live life to the fullest. My dad may have slowed down a little but he is still as sharp as a tack, as is my mother. Dad is now in remission. We (the children) see them regularly. They are in a great situation, thanks in part to their own thorough preperations. --Anonymous , Cincinnati, OH (submitted on Feb. 13, 2007)

My mother passed away in December 2006 at the age of 92. She enjoyed fairly good health until 2 years ago. After being diagnosed with Congenital Heart Failure and a stay in a Nursing Home my brother and I brought her home to care for her. She was total care and we learned a lot over that time. We had to fight for every benefit that she received. She was a member of the Greatest Generation and was not highly educated but was always a hard worker. The one thing to remember is that you are your parent’s biggest advocate. How fortunate we were to be part of her everyday life over these last 2 years. She was always most happy at home and that is where she passed away. I do believe that this country needs to treat seniors with more respect and dignity. It almost seems that once a person reaches a certain age they become disposable. I don’t know what we would have done if we lived away from her. Although I work full time, my boss was always very understanding but I am sure that is not the norm. FLM..Massachusetts --Anonymous , New Bedford, MA (submitted on Feb. 13, 2007)

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